


Liquid Courage | Spencer Reid

by sparklyyslut



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Childhood Trauma, Co-workers, Dom/sub, Exhibitionism, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Praise Kink, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:28:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 45,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29547249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparklyyslut/pseuds/sparklyyslut
Summary: After a drunken game of Truth or Dare with the team, you reveal your feelings towards your colleague Spencer Reid. The thing is, he is terrified of falling in love. Will you be able to keep your "friends with benefits" dynamic? Or will you allow yourselves to get lost in each other? *SMUT*"Nothing felt more right than this moment, you and Spencer were built for each other and you didn't even know it, like puzzle pieces manufactured in different factories." - sparklyyslut
Relationships: Emily Prentiss/Reader, Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s), Spencer Reid/Reader
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1 - Long Week

Feeling as if your legs were going to give out any second, you were surprised at the fact that you were even able to walk from point A to point B. It was 10 pm on a Friday but it felt like it was 2 am. You and your team exited the elevators and made your way to your well-lit office. 

This week's case had drained the life out of all of you, both physically and emotionally. Several young girls were found being traded and sold within a sex trafficking ring run by serial killers.

You got into the mix with one of the unsubs and boy did he put up a fight. You had bruises and cuts all over your body that you were definitely going to feel twice as hard tomorrow but the satisfaction of being the one to arrest him temporarily overpowered the pain.

"Alright guys, try to finish up your paperwork and get some rest. You all need it." Your unit chief Aaron Hotchner always stresses the importance of rest, yet he's always the last one to leave the office working past midnight. 

You all approached your desks and you groaned as you set your go-bag down next to your chair. Hearing a slight chuckle leave Derek Morgan's mouth you turned to his desk that was right behind yours.

"How the hell do you manage to take down all these guys back to back and come out of it spotless?"

"What can I say, sweetheart, these are my best assets," he said obnoxiously flexing his biceps.

You rolled your eyes but couldn't hold back your giggle. He was not an extremely cocky and vain person, so you found it amusing when he made jokes like that. The smirk on your face quickly disappeared when you noticed the stack of files on your desk staring back at you. You began going through the papers groaning at the endless amount of empty lines you had to fill. 

After about an hour and a half of working Emily Prentiss arose from her chair.

"That's it, I need a drink. We're going out."

"I don't hate that idea at all," Derek agreed.

"As much I'd love that, I need to get back to Henry and Michael. I haven't seen them all week." 

When it came to JJ nothing stood in between her and her children; as it should be with any mother. But you admired how even with the demands that came with this job, she still managed to be a present, nonetheless great mother.

"Don't worry about it JJ, I understand," Emily said. "But the rest of you have no excuse. This is well deserved and we are going to have a good time whether you like it or not!"

"I heard the word 'drink' so I'm in," David Rossi said approaching from his office. He turned his head around to look at Hotch who looked deep in thought with his brows furrowed, as they always were. "Don't even bother with him. You'd have to drag him out of that damn chair."

You stood up and made your way to the breakroom to grab some coffee. If you were gonna party might as well make it all night. 

Searching the cabinet, a hot pink mug with cat ears immediately caught your eye. You chuckled to yourself knowing exactly who had put it there. When you pulled it out behind it stood an array of the same mug but in different colors. Of course, Penelope bought one for each of us to use, she was always trying to suck us into her little world of rainbows and sunshine knowing exactly the type of horror that we have to experience on the job. And honestly, it was working. The mug was pretty damn cute. However, you knew that Rossi wouldn't be caught dead with one.

After you started your coffee, Spencer Reid walked up next to you. Aside from being your colleague he was truly your best friend. You've never really been able to confide in anyone more than him. Of course, you trusted the rest of the team with your life but you and Spencer just had a different type of connection. 

"Hey," he smiled, pouring several packs of sugar into his coffee.

"Oh hi, there you are."

"My head was starting to hurt a bit. Do you have any plans tonight?"

"Actually the team is going out soon to get some drinks and you're coming along."

He was not much of a night out at the bar type of guy and you knew this. But he had to get out more. "Uhh, I'm not sure-" 

"Oh yeah? What's your excuse?" Your brows raised and eyes squinted.

He sighed knowing there was no way out of this.

"I don't have a choice do I?"

"You don't have to go if you REALLY don't want to. But otherwise yeah you have no choice." 

"Fine, I'll go. But I will not be getting drunk!"

"Fair enough." You grinned strutting out of the breakroom.

When you returned to the desks you noticed your fellow team members gathering up their things getting ready to leave. You hurriedly packed your things including the unfinished files that were to be dealt with tomorrow, if you weren't too hungover that is.

Before making your way to the elevator, you all waved at Hotch through his window, him raising his hand in response signaling a farewell.

You looked back to search for Reid when you saw him walking behind you guys, following you into the elevator. As the doors were shutting in front of you guys Penelope said, "I know you guys need this more than I do, but I'm ready to get fucked up!"


	2. Chapter 2 - Truth or Dare

You could hear the muffled sound of the music from outside of the bar along with voices and laughter. Emily and Penelope ran inside as if it was the last time they'd have a chance to drink and Morgan quickly followed. You shoved past sweaty bodies and men with the top few buttons of their shirts undone, drinking away their 9-5 lives. By the time the rest of you managed to make it to the bar stools the girls already had shots lined up.

"Already?" You said already regretting coming here.

"Oh come on you big baby. It's just to get us going," Emily responded.

"I usually like to keep it classy with a glass of wine but for you Emily, I'll throw a couple back," said the older Italian man.

You all grabbed one shot glass each and cheered. "To taking a damn break for once!"

You squealed as you felt the burn of the sour liquid make its way down your throat, your face locked in place with your nose scrunched up. 

In the course of about an hour, one shot became two, two shots quickly became five and you lost count after that. However, Reid kept his word about not getting too drunk. Plus there needed to be someone sober to make sure everyone got home safe. Even Rossi managed to get pretty tipsy despite his high tolerance for alcohol.

After you all decided to cut yourselves off Penelope brought up an idea. "Is it bad that I'm bored already?"

"What are you thinking Garcia?" Emily looked at her.

"Hmm...Oh! Let's play a little game of truth or dare."

"Yeah, I'm out," Rossi quickly interjected as you'd expected.

"Fine fine. The rest of you are in though. Who wants to go first?"

"I'll go, baby girl," said Morgan. He looked around at all of you hesitantly until he set his eyes on someone. "Prentiss, truth or dare?"

"Derek you already know the answer to that. Dare."

"Okay, I dare you to kiss our beautiful Y/N over there." Well, that escalated quickly. He said it with a smirk knowing exactly what he was doing. Spencer's face flushed.

"Dares are supposed to be challenging D." Emily confidently stood up and strut over to you. You've had some drunken experiences with girls in college but never really took them seriously. The idea of being with a woman never really bothered you though. In fact, it kind of excited you, especially when it involved your extremely attractive coworker.

Before there was any type of contact Emily made sure to ask for your consent. "Is this okay Y/N?"

You nodded and without hesitation, she grabbed your face and planted her soft lips on yours. Putting your hands on her waist you let her take the lead. You closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling of your bottom lip in between hers until you realized your much older coworker was sitting a few feet away which made it a bit awkward. However, you were sure that he has witnessed much more during his days. You both pulled away and laughed it off. As Emily made her way back to her stool you looked over at Morgan.

"Well damn. If that wasn't a beautiful sight I don't know what is."

"Don't be creepy you dickhead," you snapped.

You rolled your eyes but deep down you were pleased with the fact that you had an excuse to kiss Prentiss. You've always noticed that she was a gorgeous woman. The striking contrast of her raven black hair and pale skin was mesmerizing. Along with the perfect curvature of her body, you'd have to admit you may have developed a little crush on her during your time at the BAU.

Penelope looked over at Emily with a surprised grin. "Alright, Em that's you."

"Honestly I have nothing, skip."

Before you could even think of a question you noticed the look on Spencer's face. He was still glancing at the spot that you and Emily had kissed in, his lips slightly parted. You can tell the kiss had done something for him. Suddenly it came to you.

"I'll go. Reid, truth or dare?"

He quickly snapped out of it.

"Uhm, dare I guess?" You were surprised at his answer, he usually wasn't the one to choose dare.

"Okay, I dare you to go kiss our friend Derek over there." His brows quickly furrowed and Morgan had formed a mortified expression on his face. The rest of the team burst into laughter. Since he wanted to fetishize lesbians you thought you'd give him a little taste of his own medicine.

"Nope, okay that's it you win. As pretty as the kid is I am NOT kissing him." As you figured. You couldn't help but laugh at the relieved yet slightly offended look on Spencer's face.

You guys passed more time playing the game, making each other embarrass yourselves in front of the bar full of strangers. Eventually, Dave had left because it was getting a bit too late for him but the rest of you decided to stay because you were having so much fun. By the time it was your turn again you all managed to sneak in a couple more drinks.

"Alrighty Y/N, my majestically beautiful angel," said Garcia "truth or dare?".

"I'll do a truthy truth this time." You could feel yourself slowly losing a grip on yourself knowing that you had a bit too much to drink but you didn't.

"Ah, nice choice. So, I'm dying to know. Who would you most wanna fuck out of all of us?"

Spencer damn near spit out his drink in response to that jarring question.

"Would it be cheating if I said Hotch?" You said with a giggle.

Morgan and Reid immediately stood at attention, shocked that you had admitted that but Morgan was a bit amused.

"As much as we all do, try to choose out of us 5." Admitted Prentiss.

You contemplated whether or not you should pretend to hesitate, but in reality, you knew exactly who you wanted the most. You glanced over at your best friend who was trying to convince himself that you guys were blurting out nonsense as a result of all of the drinks. 

Spencer Reid was one of the best people you've ever met. When you first joined the BAU three years ago he was the first friend you made. You two bonded quickly, probably due to how close you were in age, he was 26 at the time, only three years your senior. This meant that you were taking his spot as the youngest member of the BAU but he didn't seem to mind. He was extremely intelligent, you could bring up any topic you wanted and you'd be able to talk about it for hours. Well, except for anything that had to do with mainstream media or gossip in general, you saved that for Penelope. He was incredibly sweet and humble, he's always put others before himself. His looks were just the icing on the cake. You were convinced that his face was personally carved by God, his eyes were piercing yet sweet, and his smile could light up any room.

"Oh well, that's damn easy. Spencer 100%." You said shamelessly and without regret.

Despite how drunk you were you could clearly see the extreme shock on your smart colleague's face along with the bright red build-up on his cheeks.

"The kid? Really?!" Morgan was beyond surprised and definitely a bit disappointed. He had always been known as the stud of the team so having the skinny, nerdy white guy be chosen over him was pretty ego-bruising as you could imagine.

"Hell yeah. I mean what's not to wanna fuck? I thought he was hot ever since I joined the team." You knew what you were saying was pretty aggressive but you didn't seem to care. It was called liquid courage for a reason, and boy did it give you some courage.

Spencer didn't know how to react, he could barely make eye contact with you at that point even though it was clear you couldn't see straight anyway. Derek roughly patted him on the back as if he was congratulating him since Spence wasn't much of a ladies' man. You weren't quite sure why though, he was a very sweet guy with a heart of gold, not to mention he was tall and incredibly handsome. If it weren't for his awkwardness you're sure girls would be throwing themselves at him, you just didn't know you'd be one of them.

As Derek chuckled and yelled "My man!", Spencer shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his cheeks still scarlet. The rest of the team wasn't shocked at all, maybe it was all the drinks. Emily raised her glass.

"To fucking our boy wonder."

"To fucking our boy wonder!" Everyone followed.

Spencer shook his head but you could see a very small smile starting to form on his face. Was he just embarrassed, or was he actually flattered? Who knows. All you know is that the alcohol was starting to make you more attracted to him, even more than you were sober.

The rest of the night had been awkward, not so much for Y/N but definitely for Spencer. His coworker and best friend had just admitted that she always had sexual feelings for him. He was trying to convince himself that she just used his name ironically in order to dodge the question. But they say drunk words speak sober thoughts. He just couldn't believe that someone as beautiful as Y/N would be attracted to him, she was way out of his league, as most girls are. Despite his attraction to her he never thought to make a move because he valued their friendship. He was happy with being just friends, she was funny, kind, and an amazing friend and he did not want to ruin that.

Penelope and Derek made their way over to the dance floor, moving their bodies to a song they didn't even know the words to, and eventually, Emily and Y/N followed. They tried to drag Spencer with them but dancing if one of the few things they couldn't convince him to do. He watched his friends sloppily move to the beat of the music and chuckled occasionally at how silly they looked. Nothing made him happier than seeing them happy even if it meant he was watching them from the sidelines.

It was starting to get really late as it was already past midnight. Reid had to wrangle his team like a bunch of sheep. They reluctantly stumbled back to their chairs out of breath.

"C'mon Mr. Smarty Pants don't be so boooring." Garcia whined.

Spencer rolled his eyes and began to call a cab for his friends. He and Y/N lived in an apartment building only a block from each other so he would just walk home with her.

They all said their drunken goodbyes and rambled on about how much they love and appreciate their little genius as he shoved them into the back of the cab. After he shut the door he glanced over to Y/N who was trying to wander off.

"Y/N! Y/N get back here now!"

"But I need go home. I need bed." You managed to put together a couple of words. Who needed full sentences anyway?

"Yes I know but you can't get home if you're standing in the middle of traffic. Come on we're walking together, grab my hand."

Your face lit up like a little girl who had just been offered a new toy. Wobbling over to him you happily took his hand in yours. They managed to make it two blocks before you stopped in your tracks.

"What's wrong?"

She reached down to her feet ripping her black pumps off. "Much better." She said.

You two continued on but you kept losing your grip on the heels and they had slipped out of your hands numerous times. The next time it happened Spencer sighed and grabbed them for you and motioned for you to keep walking with the shoes in his hand. You gratefully smiled and followed him.


	3. Chapter 3 - Coffee & Confessions

When you both got to the outside of your apartment you stumbled to unlock your door.

"Here, let me," he said in a patient voice grabbing the key from your hand and unlocking the door.

"A man who knows how to put the key into a lock. I like it," you mischievously smiled.

Spencer immediately dropped the keys before he even had a chance to turn the doorknob.

"J-just go inside." You laughed at his reaction to your stupid joke and entered your apartment feeling the wood floor on your bare feet.

"I'm just teasing you spaz."

"Are you going to be okay alone?" He asked sounding concerned.

You frowned, "You're leaving?"

"Well yes, I can't just-"

"Nope, you're coming." Pulling him by the arms, you shut the door behind him and locked it. He was hesitant but agreed to stay until you got into bed safely, he couldn't leave you alone right now. You turned to face your room and began unbuttoning your blouse.

"Y/N, what are you doing..."

"Well, I can't just get into bed with all of my clothes on silly."

"I know but... here?"

"What? Do you not want to look at me?" You began to inch towards him. "You don't want to see me standing in my underwear in front of you." Your top was slightly unbuttoned so your cleavage was visible. Spencer gulped not knowing how to react. You wrapped your arms around his neck staring deep into his eyes. He locked his eyes onto your face but pulled away before he allowed his hands to rest on your body.

"Y/N you're not thinking straight right now, you're drunk."

You rolled your eyes. "I'm not even that drunk but whatever." You said right before you tripped on your own feet nearly falling flat on your face if Spencer hadn't caught you by your arm. Looking at you with an I-told-you-so face he guided you to your room and searched through your drawers for some pajamas, praying that he doesn't open the wrong drawer and make an unwanted discovery. He settled on a white t-shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants, he's seen you wear these on overnight cases so you must've liked them. He threw the clothes onto your bed.

"Change." He left the room shutting your door behind him. After throwing your uncomfortable work attire off you unhooked your bra and dramatically tossed it on the floor. Putting your PJs on, you immediately jumped into your bed.

"Y/N are you done? Y/N?" He shouted from the other side of the door. "Y/N you better be decent, I'm coming in." He turned the knob with his eyes half-closed to find you sprawled across your bed already knocked out. He smiled to himself and turned to leave.

"Stay." He turned his head back around. "Please, I don't want to be alone." 

He sighed and walked over to the side of your bed and crawled in beside you. Physical affection wasn't weird among the team, well except for Hotch, hugs were a rare occasion with him. But otherwise, you and the rest of the team would hug, cuddle, all of the above. However, this time was a bit different, he wasn't sure what your next move would be or if you would try anything. You wrapped your arms around his arm that was closest to you and instantaneously fell asleep.

...

The next morning you awoke to the sound of your 9 am alarm ringing. You still set alarms on your days off because you knew if you didn't you'd end up sleeping past noon. Before you even had the chance to process the fact that you were awake you felt your temples pulsating with pain. Your eyes shut immediately because of the rays of sunshine coming through your blinds. Ugh, what the hell. 

'I'm never drinking again.' An instinctive thought. Yeah yeah, you said that every morning after a night out. You looked to your right nightstand noticing some painkillers and a bottle of water. Spencer must've put it there. He wasn't in the spot next to you, where he was last night but you didn't have the energy to wonder where he was. All you needed was this pounding migraine to piss off. You tossed the pill into your mouth and chugged the water, feeling the lump make its way down your throat. 

As the pain was starting to fade away you quickly noticed the smell of eggs and bacon coming from the kitchen area. So he didn't just take off, good to know. You pulled yourself out of bed and made your way to the kitchen. Hearing the sounds of sizzling, radio music, and extremely off-key singing you couldn't help but giggle at the sight that was in front of you. Your best friend had a spatula in one hand scrambling an egg and was jamming to a Beatles song that had come on the radio.

"Well, shake it up, baby, now. 

Twist and shout. 

Come on, come on, come, come on, baby, now."

You sat down at the table, amused than ever. Spencer still hadn't noticed that you had been watching him the whole time. Seeing him dance around the kitchen without a care in the world was something you didn't mind waking up to at all. 

"Come on and work it on out

You know you twist, little girl

You know you twist so fine

Come on and twist a little closer n- SHIT!" 

Spencer turned around to grab some orange juice from the fridge when he noticed you sitting right behind him with a huge grin on your face. He jumped, nearly dropping the cooking utensil that was in his hand. Putting your hands together you cheered, "Encore!".

His face turned bright red, "H-how long were you sitting there?"

"Not long enough, unfortunately." You frowned.

"I made you some breakfast in case you were hungry." He said trying to change the subject.

"I see, thanks, Spence. Sit down and eat with me." You motioned to the chair across from you.

Pulling the chair out, he sat and started to pour the orange juice into a glass. "How are you feeling?"

"Like there are millions of tiny Oompa Loompas living inside of my brain who are repeatedly punching me with their tiny Oompa Loompa fists!"

"Did you take the Advil I left out for you?" He chuckled.

"I did thanks. It's starting to feel a little bit better." You took a bite out of the crispy bacon strip that was in your hand.

There was a moment of silence after that as if he didn't know how to transition into his next question as you peacefully chowed down your breakfast. 

"Y/N?"

"Mhm?" You raised your eyebrows not looking up from your food.

"You were pretty out of it last night. Do you uh... remember anything?" He sounded nervous.

"Well, I definitely remember all those shots. Were we playing Spin the Bottle or something?" Spencer slightly shook his head. "Oh right, it was Truth or Dare," you chuckled "How old are we?"

As he was about to give up and change the subject you suddenly remembered. "Oh yeah!" Your friend's face perked up, thank god, you guys needed to talk about it. 

"I made out with Em." His face fell again and he pressed his lips together. "I honestly don't know how long I've been wanting to do that, Prentiss is hot." You looked up him, "Wouldn't you agree?"

"Y/N, Garcia asked you a pretty shocking question...in which you gave a pretty shocking answer." You furrowed your eyebrows and tilted your head. 

"I'm not followin-"

"You said you wanted to fuck me!" He exclaimed, cutting you off.

Oh my god.

Those 7 words caused the memories from last night to come flooding back. You remembered admitting how much you wanted to sleep with your fellow team member and how you always have. 

You two stared at each other not knowing what to say, Reid shocked at what he had just blurted out. There's nowhere you did not want to be more than here.

"Now that you mention it, I do indeed remember." You replied in a small voice.

"Yeah..." He slowly looked down.

You paused for a moment, "Well I meant what I said." You muttered.

Spencer's head shot up, his eyebrows raised. "What? R-really?"

"Spence you're an amazing guy. And I'm not blind..." He tilted his head in confusion.

"Remember when I said I've always thought you were hot? Yeah, that was true." Spencer was beyond shocked, 'hot' was never even used in the same sentence as his name let alone to describe him. 

"For the past few years I thought you'd maybe pick up on my subtle flirting but you didn't so I just assumed you weren't interested. Plus I figured it was best to keep things professional anyways."

"I do feel the same way towards you." He said causing you to lift one brow.

"I mean I think you are very pretty." Oh. 

"That's good to know." You smiled.

"Um, the office doesn't have a no-romantic-relationships policy in place." This was true, but other workplaces had such policies in place for a reason.

"True, but that doesn't mean getting romantically involved is the best idea." He seemed disappointed for a split second but then nodded his head in agreement. You could tell he liked you too, but he was also smart. He understood the risk of dating while working together.

"Especially in our line of work we can't let anything ruin our team dynamic and the last thing I want is for one of us to have to put in a transfer." 

"You're right."

You took your final sip of orange juice and stood up from your seat. Grabbing both of your now empty plates you carefully placed them into the sink.

"For now I think it's best we keep things professional."

"But won't things be a bit awkward now?"

"Why would it be? We're both adults here right, it's not like we have the hormones of two horny teenagers." You shrugged as you laughed.

"Anyways, if Morgan and Garcia can keep their clothes on around each other I think we're good." 

That was a good point, if the rest of the team didn't know any better you'd be positive they fucked each other relentlessly based solely off of their inappropriate banter.

"Okay, so just act like everything is normal at work," Spencer confirmed.

"Spence everything IS normal. Just don't overthink it, okay?"

"Right. Don't overthink it." 

'Don't overthink it.' He repeated to himself in his head trying to convince himself not to let this consume his thoughts. But who was he kidding, Reid was a notorious overthinker.

After cleaning up a bit you said your goodbyes, you both still had some work leftover that was discarded because of your little group outing. You sighed as you plopped down into your desk chair ready to take on the paperwork that sat in front of you.

As you peeled at the stack of paper you couldn't help but think of the words you had said to your friend earlier. 

'Everything is normal' Was it? The words came out so easily at that moment because it just made sense. But would not overthinking your drunken words be easier said than done?


	4. Chapter 4 - Surface Tension

Your eyes slowly began to open to the ambient sounds of birds chirping and sharp rays of sunshine filling the room. The first thing you were greeted with was a face full of paper. Shit, you must've fallen asleep at your desk while you were working. You stood up from your chair and realized that you had slept through your alarm, it was noon. Walking to your drawers you grabbed some clothes and head to your bathroom. You hadn't showered in 2 days and you felt disgusting.

Stripping the clothes that you had slept in, you turned your shower on, steam filling the room. You climbed into the shower, sighing at the hot water hitting your still slightly sore body. Your thoughts began to take over as they always did in the shower. Tomorrow was the first time you would see the team again after your little game of dirty truth or dare. You were all comfortable with each other but that night was the most eventful a night out had ever gotten between you. Making out with your female colleague and then openly admitting you wanted to fuck your shy colleague.

This is exactly what you didn't want to happen. You made it clear to Reid that you didn't want him to think anything of the situation but here you were, allowing a stupid sentence to live in your mind rent-free.

After about half an hour of shampoo and overthinking, you shut off your shower and patted yourself dry. After getting dressed you walked back over your mess of a desk and eyed the sheets of paper. Thankfully you were able to finish the majority of the paperwork, all you had left was a file on one of the young girls who had fallen victim to the sex trafficking ring the team had taken out this week.

You hated treating children as a statistic, as just a name on a piece of paper that was going into a box and would be forgotten about. They were worth so much more than that.

You sat down and quickly finished the remaining work and packed all of the files into your work bag. Eyeing your taupe-colored couch you decided that today would be a very lazy day. You plopped down and grabbed your TV remote, clicking the red-colored button to turn it on. As an advertisement was playing, you unlocked your phone and thought about messaging Spencer. You wanted to say hi and check in but you remembered that he also had a big workload and he hated being interrupted when he was focused on a task, so you shut your phone and brought your attention back to the screen in front of you.

...

(Monday morning at the office)

Dreading would be a bit exaggerated, you just weren't necessarily looking forward to going to work today. You've gotten drunk with the team before, but most of those nights just consisted of you grinding on Derek on the dance floor or profusely repeating how much you loved your team members. Either way, Friday night was just weird.

Your heels clicked on the floor as you entered the tall beige building, nodding your head and smiling to greet the security guards along with anyone else who made eye contact with you. You loved the lifestyle that came with your job. 

Well, minus the psycho stabby part. 

Feeling official and in charge was something you were never used to before. Having people acknowledge and respect your existence seemed like it should be the bare minimum of your expectations, but for someone who has lived a life like yours, you deserved to feel accomplished. Being able to save lives along with it, was the best part.

You were always the last one to make it to work, not necessarily late, just exactly on time. Exiting the elevator you were greeted with the sweet face of your female coworker, Jennifer. 

"Oh hey Y/N!" She said pleasantly surprised to have run into you.

"Hey JJ." You smiled.

"I was just heading back to my office, let's walk together." She motioned to the direction in which she was walking and you followed her.

"Did you guys have fun on Friday? I'm so sorry I couldn't make it."

You weren't sure if 'fun' would be an overstatement or an understatement.

"Oh you don't have to apologize for that, the boys come before anything," you said understandingly. "Friday night was uh...you didn't miss much."

"You sure about that?" Her eyebrows raised as she strutted off to her office leaving you confused.

You sighed. Great, was it Penelope? It was probably Penelope.

Setting your belongings down at your desk and greeting your team, you picked up your paperwork from the weekend to hand it over to Hotch. 

You gently knocked on the door before hearing a firm, "Come in."

Pushing the door open you smiled at your boss.

"Good morning," He looked up at you providing you with a small yet genuine smile. "Here's the paperwork I didn't get to finish on Friday." You placed the files onto his desk.

"Great, thank you Agent Y/L/N." Just as you were turning around to head back to your desk you felt a tall presence behind you but were late in registering it.

Your palms whacked into the chest of your colleague as he grabbed the sides of your arms to stabilize you. It was Spencer. Your eye contact briefly lingered until you awkwardly pressed your lips into a line and fled your unit chief's office.

'Real smooth Y/N,' you mentally cursed yourself.

Before Aaron had the chance to ask questions, Reid awkwardly smiled and handed his paperwork over, and exited the room as well. 

Just before you were able to seat yourself, Garcia hurriedly walked out of her office indicating to the team that there was a case. You all quickly made your way over to the roundtable, somewhere you, unfortunately, found yourselves often.

As Garcia clicked away at her controller, waiting for everyone to get situated you noticed there were only two consecutive seats available. The only other person that hadn't sat down yet was Reid. You both made eye contact and strolled over to the chairs to seem nonchalant. The rest of the team didn't bat an eye. 

"Okay luckily for me these pictures aren't too scary-looking," Penelope said with relief. She usually had to ask us to describe any gruesome signatures or markings that were left on victims as she hated having to see that kind of stuff.

"Our first victim Allison Brown works as a waitress in Philadelphia and Caroline Johnson works as a barista at a cafe local to the restaurant Brown works at. Both in their mid-twenties." The team stared at the pictures of the two young blonde women posted up on the screen. 

"Both white, blonde women in their twenties? This guy obviously has a type, they could be surrogates," JJ said looking down at her tablet.

"They also live low-risk lifestyles, not to mention his small comfort zone," David Rossi added.

"But these are two deaths, we need to three to declare a serial killer," Morgan said looking at Garcia.

"Ah, I was just getting to that my chocolate, sculpted lover!" She chirped causing a chuckle from everyone but Hotchner who was still examining the files.

As you were trying to concentrate on the information that was in front of you, you felt a brush against the side of your thigh. Spencer had adjusted his seating position which happened to cause his leg to be nestled in the crook of your knee. Looking up at him you noticed that his eyes were still fixated on his paper file, but the left corner of his mouth was raised into a very faint smirk. So he knew exactly what he was doing. 

Rather than moving away to re-establish your personal space, you stretched your leg out a bit to give him access to move closer. His left leg was now slightly intertwined with your right. The rest of the team was oblivious to this as it was happening under the large table, so you two stayed like that.

"Two weeks ago this woman," Penelope pressed a button changing the slide to a photo of a third young blonde woman, "Lucy Carter was found dead in her apartment. Same COD and everything."

You two were getting used to the feeling of your contact, he was starting to get comfortable which is exactly what you didn't want. Since your leg was already on top of his, you bent your knee slightly causing it to tread dangerously close to his groin.

Spencer's breathing changed, trying not to look down at the almost inappropriate contact you two were making. 

"A two-week cooling-off period to two victims within a week? He's accelerating," Emily said with concern in her voice.

"I agree, we shouldn't waste more time. Wheels up in 30." Hotch said nodding to the team.

As everyone began to make their way to grab some last-minute coffee and their go-bags, you and Spencer separated your legs.

Without saying a word or even making eye contact, he exited the room. Wow.

"Everything okay?" Came a voice from the left of you. You turned around to see it was Prentiss.

"Yeah," you said with a convincing smile. Everything was okay. Besides the fact that you just dry-humped your teammate with your leg with everyone else in the room.

She put her hand on your arm before walking out of the room.

After gathering your bags, you realized that you had about twenty minutes left until you had to be in the jet.

You entered the breakroom just as Rossi was heading out. To your surprise, he had one of Penelope's cat mugs in his hands and shot a smile at you. 

'I stand corrected,' you thought to yourself, referring to the earlier assumption you made.

You looked around as your coffee cup started to fill until you felt someone grab your arm and spin you around. Your best friend stood in front of you, his face inches away from yours. 

"S-spencer?"

He started walking you up to a corner in the kitchen that was covered by a small structure in the wall. So whoever walked in, wouldn't see you two. 

"You knew what you were doing during the briefing," he said without hesitating.

Yeah, you did know exactly what you were doing.

"I don't know what you're talking about," you replied with a playful and obviously fake confused voice.

Spencer tilted his head at your lie, "You know, I was seeing how you'd react."

You knew it. He was doing it on purpose.

"And you took the bait," he continued. "You were telling me to keep it professional, but I can't stop thinking about what you said to me. How even though you were drunk you still meant it."

"Because I did, I meant every word of it." Your nerves didn't stop you from being bold.

His gaze deepened, his arms now to either side of you leaving you nowhere to go. Not that you wanted to go anywhere else.

You wanted to feel as though you were in control here even though you knew one move from Spencer and you'd melt.

"But even then you're not getting anything from me," you said almost apathetically. He sensed the challenge in your voice and it ignited a fire in him. You felt the energy shift to passion.

"Oh is that so?" He said in an almost whisper. "Then what's this?" Spencer looked down and your eyes followed him. 

Your leg was starting to rise, begging to be hooked around his waist without you even noticing. Quickly putting it down in embarrassment you broke eye contact with Spencer, your cheeks starting to turn red.

He chuckled, "That's what I thought," he said arrogantly.

His hand had moved to the end of your jaw. Lightly tracing your face he dragged the tip of his middle finger along to your chin.

"Now what were you saying? I'm not getting anything from you?" The finger that was resting under your chin jolted upward, forcing you to look up at him. "Why would I want anything from someone who can't control themselves during a conversation?" He said teasingly.

Now, you were mad, but in the best way. You've never seen this side of him before, what happened to the awkward baby who jumped at all of your advances and stumbled on every other sentence when talking to a girl?

"Is that a challenge?" You played along, pulling your face away from his hand leaving it stranded.

"It sure is," his eyebrows now raised at your act.

You're height was less than Spencer's, making you short enough to escape from under his arms. Slipping out of his barricade, you calmly grabbed your coffee and strutted out of the break-room not looking back to see your coworker's face, even though you really wanted to. 

"Bring it." Were your last words before you shut the door behind you. So much for keeping it professional huh?

Spencer stood there with his tongue rested on his back teeth, his eyes following you until you were no longer in his line of sight. This meant war.


	5. Chapter 5 - One Call Away

The team gathered in the closest seating arrangement possible to discuss a couple of details that they couldn't back at the office. 

"From what I'm seeing, all of these women were found in their homes laid out properly, it shows remorse," Derek laid his arms out beside him mirroring the position of the bodies.

"The cause of death was also poisoning," you added. "The unsub could very well be a woman."

"Recent data displays that a percentage of female serial killers prefer to murder strangers," Reid said with focus. "It explains why the unsub would be choosing to kill surrogates over her original target."

You love it when Spence goes off on his little tangents despite the rest of the team getting annoyed. It's one of the things that made you guys stick together, it made him happy to finally have someone who genuinely wanted to hear what he had to say.

Usually, you would be very invested in what he was saying, but this time you weren't. Your heart rate picked up at the sound of him talking. His crisp voice that once had you hooked onto every bit of information he was putting out would be drowned out. 

All you could focus on were the lips that were inches away from you less than half an hour ago. His perfectly shaped lips, small yet plump. You found yourself mesmerized at the way they moved when he spoke, ever so gracefully pulling apart to pronounce a word and pressing together when he was finished. 

Not only did you imagine what they would feel like against your own lips but you imagined them in other places. Moving along your jaw, down to the side of your neck, trailing down the soft skin of your tummy. All building up to him using the same mechanisms in which he uses to speak, on the most sensual part of your body. You could only imagine him calling your name.

Y/N...

Y/N.

"Y/N?" Suddenly snapping out of the trance you were in at the voice of your superior, you jolted as you turned your head to look at him.

"Is everything okay?" Hotch tilted his head looking at you.

"Sorry yeah, everything is fine," you looked around at your team who was collectively looking at you with concern. 

A smirk played on Spencer's face. Shit, was it that obvious that you zoned out while staring at him? The thought of you getting that distracted by him must've done wonders for his ego.

"Alright..." He said in suspicion. "Emily, Dave, you two go to the M.E and see if there was anything else found in the victims' toxicology reports. Morgan, you and Reid go investigate the crime scene and see if you find anything significant. JJ, you and I will talk to the victims' families and set up with the local P.D."

He looked over at you with furrowed brows, "Y/L/N, you're with us." 

After a bit more discussion of the case, Hotchner noticed that you were all running out of steam and allowed you all to relax until we landed. This case would most likely be a long one as female unsubs were the most difficult to find because of how clean and controlled they were. 

You moved to the back of the jet and sat onto one of the long couches, JJ sat on the one across from you. 

With your tablet in hand, you began to study a bit more of the victimology, trying to find some sort of connection other than physical appearance. Because if these girls were being chosen at random, the victim pool just got way larger. 

After swiping through for a bit you felt your neck begin to ache. You rolled your head around and pushed your shoulders back in an effort to relieve some tension.

You saw Reid approaching down the aisle in your peripheral vision. 

"You sure you're okay?" asked Jennifer looking up from her own tablet. 

"Oh, my neck and back are just bothering me, it happens all the time don't worry," you assured with your hand on your shoulder. 

"Let me see if I could help," said Reid.

"Uh, oka-"

Before you could finish his left hand was wrapped around the back of your neck. His grip was firm under your hair, slightly tangled in it. His other arm rested above your knee. 

JJ gave a small chuckle, "There has to be something in one of his many books about relieving upper back pain."

His thumb and middle two fingers worked in circles at either side of your neck and it honestly felt amazing. You began to close your eyes and felt his hand move to your left shoulder. Bringing his free hand up to your other shoulder his thumbs pressed into the tense muscle. 

"That feel good?" He said in a low whisper causing you to sharply inhale. Jeez, did he really have to say it so sexually? 

You nodded your head, quickly glancing at JJ to make sure she hadn't heard that little remark. 

"You know the root of your neck pain is probably your atrocious posture." Okay, rude.

His hand slid down your back and made its way to your waist. The feeling of his fingertips through your thin purple blouse sent a shiver down your spine. 

"Here, straighten this part out," with one hand on your back and the other along your clavicle he pushed you upward fixing your posture.

"There you go," his hands trailing down your sides, dangerously close to your breast.

His hands lingered there before he walked back to the chair he was sitting in previously. You let out a short sigh at the loss of his touch. He was trying to push your buttons, and oh was it working. 

Thankfully, no one had noticed what had just taken place, everyone was focused on doing their own thing. 

...

When you landed in Philly, everyone immediately got to work. Some of the police force of the local P.D didn't seem to happy with the presence of the FBI which happened a lot, it made them felt insignificant. Honestly, their anger amused you, rather than being focused on keeping the people of their town safe all they cared about what power. 

Trust me, despite being law enforcement, the majority of the FBI believes ACAB.

The week went by and nothing from Spencer. No slick remarks, and no touching. Every time he spoke to you it was strictly about the case, and you were glad it was that way. These families had lost their loved ones and the last thing you wanted was to be feeling each other up when you were supposed to be bringing them justice. 

Every now and then you would sneak a look at each other, maybe even a smirk. But that was it. 

Eventually, you were able to catch the unsub who was indeed a woman. She had recently gotten a divorce which was her stressor, and her ex-husband quickly moving on and finding a girlfriend was the trigger. The girlfriend was a blonde woman, in her twenties. 

But of course, the unsub had underlying psychological issues that pushed her to think that murdering innocents was a solution to her problems. 

Once again your team loaded themselves onto the jet, happy that you were able to bring grieving families a bit of closure. 

"Alright everybody, good work today," Hotch said sitting down.

Looking for a seat you noticed Prentiss sitting in a two-seater and Spencer in the seat diagonal to her. He was sitting on the outside, leaving the window seat open. 

That gave you an idea. Brushing past the opening of his legs left, your butt definitely giving him nowhere else to look, you sat yourself down into the chair.

"Oh, excuse me," you said with a smile. 

Spencer rolled his head back slightly, knowing exactly what you were doing. "Mhm."

He went back to reading his book, trying to ignore whatever stunt you were about to pull. Grabbing his leg, his face scrunched up a bit. You remembered the tumble he had while chasing the killer, he landed straight on his leg. Thankfully, he was okay and would still be able to walk.

"This is why I try my best not to go out in the field," came Rossi from a few feet away. "All you guys do is get hurt and I'm too old for that crap."

Emily giggled, "Can't wait until I could start using the same excuse." Shortly, she rested her head on the window and drifted off to sleep, David doing the same.

"Let me see if I could help," you mocked his words from earlier.

Before he could say anything your hands were on the area he was rubbing. He wasn't sure of your next move, all he knew was that you weren't trying to relieve his pain. 

Without hesitation, your hand began to move up, and closer to his groin. His breath hitched causing you to smile with satisfaction. He looked up at the rest of the team, who was all asleep, except Hotch who was sitting with his back faced to you.

Looking back down, he awaited your hand making contact with him, his pants growing tighter.

He let out a faint whisper, "Fu-" 

Before he could finish what he was saying you removed your hand.

"I'm pretty exhausted, that case was a tough one," you brought your hands up to your face and shut your eyes.

The silence that came from Reid was enough to make the corner of your mouth rise. You could only imagine the priceless look on his face.

After a minute of him sitting there annoyed, you felt him stand up and walk away. You opened your eyes a bit to see where he was off to and you saw him make his way to the jet bathroom, trying to hold his hands in front of his erection. 

He shut the door and you didn't see him for another twenty minutes. Hm, wonder what he was doing in there. 

When he came out you looked up at him, not getting a look back from him. He plopped himself back down into the chair and continued reading his book as nothing happened. 

...

When the jet landed everyone said their goodnights, except Spencer. He raised his hand briefly at the team before taking off home.

Once you reached your apartment, you threw all of your stuff down and rushed to the shower, and turned on the cold water.

Upon, exiting the bathroom you heard your phone ring.

You picked it up off of your counter, and to your shock, Spencer's name lit up the screen.

Swiping the green bar at the bottom, you lifted the phone to your ear.

"Yes?"

"Come over," he said in a demanding voice.

"Wh-"

"Now," he cut you off and hung up.

You stood there with the phone in your hand, shocked. Was he about to hate-fuck me? Whatever it was you were not complaining. 

'Well shit, you heard the man,' you said to yourself.

You were tired but not tired enough to pass up this opportunity. You quickly got dressed and grabbed your keys.


	6. Chapter 6 - Dainty Lavender

*SMUT WARNING*

You knocked on the door to Spencer's apartment, trying not to sound too eager. But within two knocks the door swung open and you were pulled in.

Spencer shut the door behind you, your back now against the door.

"You're in control? Is that what you think?" was the first thing he said.

Immediately accepting his challenge you said, "I know I am."

His eyes darkened at your cocky remark.

You quickly registered Spencer's very dominant stance, making him seem much taller. You could feel his body heat transferring over to you despite the lack of contact. His gaze shifted from your eyes down to your mouth.

The tension made you both feel like you've just run a mile. There both of you stood, your hearts pounding, sending pulsations throughout your body, and your rapid breathing now in sync.

Within seconds Spencer's lips crashed onto yours, his hands becoming entangled in your hair. As the kiss grew more urgent his grip grew tighter. He pulled at your hair in a way where it wasn't painful, but pleasurable.

A moan escaped your mouth and into his causing him to smile through your kiss.

He begins walking you into the nearest room which happened to be the kitchen until your back hit the counter. His lips not once disconnected from yours. 

His strong hands made their way under you and in one swift move, you were now on top of the counter, feeling the cold granite surface through your thin shorts.

Throwing your arms over his shoulders, you pulled him deeper into the kiss. His body in between your thighs and your legs wrapped around his waist. One of his hands cupped your face and the other found its way to your waist, soon moving to your leg. It ran up and down your inner thigh but not once traveling higher.

You tried to move forward in desperate need of friction between your legs, but every time you got closer to him he stepped back.

Fuck it, if he wasn't going to put his hands to work then I will.

Your hands made their way to his belt, pulling at the leather. The metal clinked as you were desperately trying to unbuckle.

"Stop," Spencer placed his hand on yours.

'Stop?' You looked at him with a confused look.

"I'm not going to touch you tonight. Keep it 'professional', remember?"

What the hell? Did we not just cross that bridge? I know damn well I didn't come all the way over here to kiss. But if he didn't want to do anything you respected that.

Just as you were about to assure him that there would be no sexual contact you saw him reach into the pocket of his slacks that he had not changed out of.

Was he pulling out a condom? I thought we weren't having sex.

When you looked at his hand you noticed a small purple object that was a bit smaller than the size of his palm. It took you a second to realize what it was.

It was a vibrator.

Spencer Reid was standing in front of you with a dainty lavender vibrator in his hand.

"Is this okay?" He asked sincerely, breaking out of his aggressively dominant persona. He made sure it was okay to touch you even if it was with a toy.

You weren't hesitant of trying it, you have a vibrator of your own, and let's just say she's worn in. You've just never had a partner use toys on you before. But there's a first for everything right?

Looking him in the eyes you nodded your head.

Spencer pressed the small button on the back of the toy. A light buzzing sound filled the quiet room.

You expected him to place it straight on your pussy, which is what you did when you pleasured yourself. But he didn't.

He lightly placed it on your inner thigh, moving it around and under it. The area behind your knee was more sensitive than you thought.

He dragged the vibrator up along the side of your body, just barely grazing your skin. The almost ticklish feeling caused the hairs all over your body to stand up.

The toy met your nipple through your thin shirt and thin bra, immediately causing it to harden. Your nipples are sensitive so it sent a shudder throughout your body.

With his free hand, Spencer lightly brushed the tip of his finger along the side of your arm.

All of this contact was heightening the sensitivity of your body, only making the feeling between your legs grow stronger.

He started to move the vibrator lower until it was below your navel, and you felt it through your shorts.

He pushed your shorts aside revealing the wet spot left on your panties. Spencer smiled at the sight. Knowing that his teasing had turned you on was hot.

Moving the toy around your pussy, he had yet to make contact with your most sensitive area. You moved your hips in an attempt to feel it, causing Spencer to chuckle.

You let out a gasp as he swiftly moved the vibrator on and off your clit.

"Oh? Is that that you want?" he asked teasingly. You nodded your head.

"Answer me," he demanded.

"Y-yes," you whimpered.

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, I want it."

In an instant, he switched the vibrator on again, moved your underwear aside, and pushed it against your now throbbing clit.

You let out a loud moan as he moved the buzzing toy, alternating between rubbing you up and down and circling you.

The feeling was too good, almost aching. You rocked your hips forward and backward as if you needed more friction. Spencer put a hand on your hip and held you down.

"You only get what I give you."

In the midst of running the vibrator along your slit, he had pushed it against your entrance and slipped it inside of you. You were incredibly wet so there was little resistance.

He began massaging your sweet spot, rocking the toy back and forth.

You've never really felt pleasure from using a vibrator inside of you but the feeling you got when Spencer did it confirmed that you were just doing it wrong.

Spencer watched intently as you writhed under his control, licking his lips as he watched yours form an O shape.

As you felt you were getting closer your moans got louder and more demanding. Your hips bucked and your face contorted.

"Do you wanna cum for me?" Spencer growled.

"Y-yes."

"Then cum," he hissed through his teeth.

"O-oh my GOD!" You yelled as your orgasm pushed through, releasing the week's worth of tension that had been building up.

Reid eased off on the vibrator as you came down from your orgasm and clicked the button, shutting it off.

"Good girl," he caresses your thigh once more.

You two stood there, both breathing heavily but for different reasons.

The toy glistened, covered in your juices. Spencer grabbed a tissue and wiped it clean.

Briefly looking him in the eye, your eyes traveled down. You noticed the very prominent bulge forming in his pants.

Feeling bold you placed your hand on it, cupping his forming erection. This caused him to jump slightly, his breath catching.

"What are we gonna do about this?" you asked in a low voice smiling.

He groaned as you continued to palm him, only causing him to grow more.

Just as you thought you were about to return the favor, he grabbed your wrists.

"Wouldn't that be a little inappropriate Agent Y/L/N?" he taunted.

"If that's inappropriate then what would you call what you just did to me?"

"Technically, I didn't touch you."

He was right. "So what if I used a fleshlight on you or something? It wouldn't count either."

"That is true."

However, you knew going out of your way to order a toy just to use it on him was pretty unrealistic. So for now, he won.

You hopped down from the counter, trying to play it cool but your legs almost gave out from under you. You noticed that Reid's erection started to go down. This man had a LOT of self-control, it was kind of amazing and a bit dangerous in this little game you two were playing. 

"So...what now?" you asked.

"Did you like that?" he asked but not in the same sexual voice he used before. 

"Yeah it was...good," you weren't able to find the words.

"Just good?" he lifted a brow.

"I mean it was great!"

He chuckled, "I'm kidding." Plus if you really thought that was great, there's more where that came from."

You stood there not knowing what to do next, "So do I just head home or?"

"Well I'd be more than happy to let you stay, it's up to you, he rested his hands on the table in front of him.

"I-I think I'll go." After what happened tonight you thought staying over would be a bit much. 

"Okay that's fine, I'll see you at work Y/N."

He walked you to his door and let you out, waving at you goodbye.

You could barely remember the walk home as your mind was occupied by the events that took place tonight. Work was going to be interesting now.


	7. Chapter 7 - Cherry Sugar

It had been a few days since the little 'incident' between you and Spencer had occurred. The team did not have any cases over the course of these two weeks so it was even harder to ignore the awkward tension between you.

Spencer's desk was right across from yours and every now and then you couldn't help but sneak a glance or two at him. But not once did he look back, you're sure he felt your eyes on him but he just ignored them.

As his hands fiddled with pens and other small objects your mind began to wander. The image of him standing in front of you with a small sex toy in hand and running it along your body occupied your mind. Every time he spoke all you could think of was him demanding that you cum for him.

If the team didn't have a case around the same time every day, everyone would head to the breakroom for lunch.

You looked down at your phone to see that the time was half past noon so you stood up to go to the breakroom and see what everyone else was up to. 

When you entered you saw Emily and JJ heating up their food in the microwave, Derek and Penelope flirting up a storm by the coffee machine and Reid sitting at one of the tables with a red lollipop in his mouth. 

"Oh hey Y/N! We were just waiting for you," Emily turned her body to look at you.

You gave the team a bright smile as they all smiled back, except Spencer who's head was still down but his eyes up to look at you.

"How was everyone's weekend?" Emily looked around at the team.

"Michael had a bad fever these past few days," JJ sighed sounding exhausted.

"Oh no, is he feeling better now?" you said starting your coffee.

"Yeah, it's going down a bit now. Will's sending me updates every now and then about how he's doing."

"Well, I can't say my weekend was too bad. Let's just say it included a couple of pretty ladies and myself," Morgan said with a big grin on his face.

Penelope's eyebrows furrowed, "I would very much appreciate it if you didn't talk about your impure adventures with other women around me!"

"My bad, you know you're my only true baby girl no matter what," Derek wrapped an arm around her kissing her temple, her face still in a pout.

"What about you pretty boy?" Spencer looked up from the book he was reading. "Did anything interesting happen over the weekend for once?" Morgan teased.

Briefly looking at you he noticed how your face had flushed at Morgan's question, a small smile played on his face, "No actually," he swirled the lollipop in his tongue.

What?

"This weekend was actually more uneventful than usual," he rolled his eyes in an attempt to look annoyed at his lack of action this weekend, but only you could see through his little act.

"Can't say I'm surprised boy genius," Derek mocked. 

Prentiss had a sympathetic look on her face, "Oh don't be mean Derek!" She let a giggle slip.

"Hey, I'm just saying it's not much different from the other times I've asked him that question," he threw his hands up beside his head.

Reid shot you one last mocking look before drawing his attention back to the book in front of him.

Asshole.

You squinted your eyes, "Well my weekend was boring too!" you exclaimed to fire back, Reid letting out a pitiful snicker at your attempt to piss him off.

"Well I guess we're gonna need another night out," Garcia said.

When your coworkers went back to preparing their food and chitchatting you looked over at Spencer who was clearly unbothered. 

You walked over to him, his eyes shooting up at you with a faint smirk on his face.

"Yes?" he asked acting oblivious.

"Uneventful?" you raised an eyebrow.

He tilted his head, "Mhm. Very."

"You weren't saying that when you were begging to fuck me with that vibrator," you said quiet enough so your team didn't hear, but firm enough to establish your dominance.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he teased.

As you watched him swirl the small red lollipop, swiping in and out of his mouth you had an idea.

You turned to make sure the rest of the team was occupied which they were. Bending over the table, you rested your elbows on the surface beneath you in order to be eye-level with Spencer, giving him a good view of your ass behind you. 

"Well," his hazel eyes darkened as you grabbed the white stick that hung out of his mouth and slipped it out, it glistening with his saliva.

"I can make your weekends very VERY eventful," you slowly slipped the lollipop in between your lips causing him to let out a low groan.

You noticed the twitch in his pants as the cherry-flavored sugar filled your mouth. The thought of Spencer's saliva dripping down your throat also gave you a warm feeling between your legs.

With one last piercing look, you lifted your arms off of the table and sucked away at the sweet candy as you strutted out of the breakroom, once again leaving Spencer speechless and frustrated.

Emily turned around, "Finished your lollipop already?" she asked confused.

The rest of the workday went smoothly, for you at least. You had a little pep in your step knowing that you had won today's little round of this twisted little game you two were playing.

You noticed as Spencer's eyes would get caught on your red-tinged lips and tongue. Licking your lips to re-taste the sweet residue when you did catch him staring.

As the evening rolled around it was time to go home. You gathered your belongings, satisfied with how you shut Reid up today. But before you left your desk you felt a familiar figure approaching you.

"Be ready at 8," it was Spencer. 

Before you could react, take or reject his offer, he was off to the elevators.

What did he have in mind?

...

When you got home you had about an hour to spare before you should start getting ready. You decided to take a shower and wait until your hair air-dried as it was naturally pretty tame and didn't need to be done.

While you were taking care of some things around the house as you waited, you got a text notification on your phone. It was a message from Emily to the girl's group chat.

From: Emily to "Quan-TEA-co"

Hey girls! Your weekends sounded so depressing, which is why I am proposing a girls' night out tonight.

From: JJ to "Quan-TEA-co"

Sounds good. Michael's fever went down a lot, I could let Will know.

From: Penelope to "Quan-TEA-co"

Eeeek! Yes yes yes!

She sent with numerous hearts and other sparkly emojis.

Oh no. How were you supposed to turn them down?

To: "Quan-TEA-co"

I'm sorry girls. I hate to be a Debby Downer but I kinda sorta have plans.

From: Penelope to "Quan-TEA-co"

Wait wait wait. Is it like... a daaate?

From: Emily to "Quan-TEA-co"

The only way we are rescheduling a girls' night is if you have a hot date Y/N Y/L/N!

Fuck. You had to tell them.

To: "Quan-TEA-co"

Fine! Yes, I have a date...

The chat flooded with exclamation marks and colorful emojis and you rolled your eyes, a smile on your face.

From: JJ to "Quan-TEA-co"

Well, have fun. But not too much fun!

From: Emily to "Quan-TEA-co"

Bullshit J! You better not be walking straight the next time we see you Y/N.

You laughed to yourself as you turned your phone off. Looking at the time you realized that you should start getting ready. As you stood in front of your closet you realized you had no idea of what the hell you were supposed to wear.

It was the evening time so you're most likely going to dinner, but you don't want to overdress.

Your eyes scanned the array of clothing in front of you until you settled on a black bodycon midi dress. It stopped just below your knee with a small slit on the right side. Not loud, but still classy.

You added a bit more eyeliner to the makeup you already had on and threw on a simple pair of earrings. 

Just as you were making sure you had everything you needed, your phone went off.

From: Spencer

Hey, I'm downstairs. Are you ready?

To: Spencer

Yup, heading down right now.

You looped your arms through your leather jacket and headed out.

When you got downstairs you felt the winter air hit the bare skin of your legs. It wasn't too cold, it was refreshing almost.

You recognized Spencer's car and greeted him as you took in how good he looked. He was wearing a black button-up as opposed to the sweater vest he was wearing at work earlier today.

After you shut the door you realized that he was checking you out just as much as you were him. Not much of an expression on his face, just his eyes moving up and down your body.

He began to drive off, the first few moments were silent.

"You look amazing by the way," he said genuinely.

"Thank you. You look great yourself," you replied, him giving you a small smile.

You turned your head to look out the window, wondering what this night was and where it would take you.


	8. Chapter 8 - A New Side

You entered the dimly lit-up restaurant and looked around. It was pretty fancy, you thanked yourself for putting on your nice dress.

A waitress led you to a table, placed two menus in front of you, and asked for drinks. Before you could give her an answer Reid speaks before you and orders two glasses of water for the both of you. The waitress nods and walks away.

Your eyes meet Spencer's, "What if I wanted a glass of wine?"

"I don't want your judgment impaired tonight," his eyes not leaving his menu.

What? Why?

As your eyes scan the French words in front of you, you realized that you haven't been living as lavish as you thought because you had no idea what any of these things were. Spencer noticed that you were spending an awfully long time looking over the same page.

He chuckled, "Do you want me to order for you?"

"Yes please."

He motioned at the waitress that they were ready to order. She walked over and placed the waters on the table, her notepad out.

"I'll be having the Chicken confit," he looked at you for a moment. "And a Steak au poivre for the lady."

She smiled and nodded, assuring that our food will be here shortly.

You paused for a moment, "What did you order me?" your voice inquisitive.

"It was a classic steak dish, nothing too much for your first time eating here."

"Oh, thanks."

As you waited for your food to come out, you looked around taking in the classy atmosphere.

"Y/N."

"Hm?" you lightly tapped your fingers on the edge of the table.

"So, I brought you here for a reason," he said. "Our relationship has obviously passed the point of friendly and 'professional'. That night at my place and our other little interactions have confirmed that. I brought you here to discuss that."

You pursed your lips, "I'm confused, why do we need to have a formal discussion?" you let out a breathy laugh. "What exactly is there to discuss? I thought we were just messing around."

"Boundaries. What you're okay with, what I'm okay with," he replied. "Any questions you have. Things like that."

You furrowed your eyebrows, as you were still lost.

"I like to communicate with people before I get involved with them sexually, not usually this formally or else I'd never get laid, hence why I didn't touch you that night."

"You still gave me an orgasm though," you said under your breath.

"I had to put you in your place somehow," his voice low.

Oh.

"Why couldn't we talk about this at one of our places, why bring me here? It seems kind of like a date."

"Do you want it to be one?"

"Um, I don't know," maybe. "No?"

Spencer tilted his head intriguingly, "Good because it isn't one. We aren't dating Y/N."

Wow. Despite what you said to him before about not wanting to take this too seriously, that kind of stung.

You saw the waitress approaching from across the room. She placed your plates down in front of you, Spencer's eyes not leaving you.

"Thank you," you said, she smiled.

"Dig in. We'll speak as we eat," Spencer instructed you, motioning at the plate in front of you.

You grabbed the sleek utensils in front of you and sawed into the piece of meat, Spencer doing the same. As you chewed down on your food you came to the conclusion that you liked it. You wouldn't classify yourself as a picky eater but you were wary of trying new things, which is why you were thankful that you liked the food.

"How is it?" he observed as you ate.

You swallowed what was in your mouth, "It's delicious."

"Good. Now where were we," he took a sip of his water. "How do you feel about anal fisting?"

About everyone in the restaurant turned to look at you as you coughed uncontrollably, damn near choking on your food while Spencer guffawed at your reaction.

"Jesus fucking Christ dude," you tried to control your coughing as much as you could.

Spencer began coming down from his laugh, "I'm sorry I just had to see your reaction. No anal fisting."

"Yeah, no shit," you rubbed your forehead.

"What I meant to ask was, is there anything you don't feel comfortable doing?"

You let out a deep breath, "Not that I can think of, no."

"That's fine. Before we do anything, I'll make sure to ask you anyway. One thing I did want to mention though, no sexual advances while we're working on a case."

"I agree," you quickly shoved food in your mouth, chewing it down before he caught you off guard by any more crazy shit.

"Yes, I was glad to see that you mutually maintained the professionalism on our last case. I'd also prefer it if the rest of the team didn't know about us. Mostly because Morgan would never let me live it down," you agreed with this also.

"Another thing, we probably won't be having sex right off the bat."

Woah woah woah.

"Why not?"

"Trust me Y/N, as much I would love to fuck the absolute life out of you, the wait will make the first time we have sex that much better."

You were sure that you were drooling. Wow. 

He was right if you thought about it, all of your best sexual experiences came from a chase.

"But believe me when I say we will be doing other things," he added.

"I'm looking forward to it."

"Good. Because you will be seeing an entirely new side of me Y/N. Remember, you started this," he gave you one last deep look before waving the waitress down for the check.

...

The first few minutes of the car ride home were quiet, the low radio playing made it less awkward.

Spencer quickly glanced at you as he was driving, "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, just...thinking."

"You know you don't have to do any of this if you don't want to," you turned your head in response to look at him. "I'm totally okay with just being friends, don't think I'm using you for sex."

"No, I don't think that at all, I really do want to pursue this 'physical relationship' with you it's just..."

He looked over at you when your voice trailed off.

"I'm just confused is all. About a week ago you were stumbling over your words in response to my drunk little confession, doing your awkward little white person smile at all of my advances," you lightly giggled as Spencer's brows furrowed. "But all of a sudden it's like a flip switched inside of you. You started pushing me up against walls, doing...dominate-y things."

Spencer chuckled to himself as he took in what you said, completely understanding where you were coming from.

"Well, all of that awkwardness is real Y/N. I really do have trouble talking to girls, I do stumble on my words, and I was actually nervous and taken aback at what you said that night. I'm just not the best at picking up social cues despite being a profiler, which is why I get so confident when I am absolutely sure that someone is interested in me," he paused for a moment. "I guess it just takes a certain kind of person to bring that confidence out."

The certain person he was referring to was you.

"So, you're acting like this because of me?"

"Correct," he replied.

Fuck. The thought of you being one of the few people who brought out this side of him was really hot. 

"This isn't a totally fake persona though. As you know I'm pretty submissive in my daily life, that's exactly what makes me so dominant in my sex life."

"Any other questions?" he looked over at you as he approached a red light.

You hesitated for a moment until a question you had for a while popped up.

"Okay, I have to ask this. Why the hell do you casually have a tiny purple vibrator?"

Spencer laughed at your expression, "Believe it or not it's not entirely for me. I use them on my partners."

Them?

"I have other sex toys that I use on my partners but I brought out the smallest one I had, to first use on you."

"Oh," you responded, slightly offended. Did he think you couldn't handle anything more?

"Well I didn't want to whip out the cuffs before taking you out to dinner," he joked picking up on your offense.

Your eyebrows raised, cuffs?

Again, he picked up on your intrigue. "We will surely be using them eventually though."

A smile played on your lips, you couldn't say you weren't looking forward to that.

"So, is this some kind of BDSM, dom/sub type relationship?" you asked. You've read some articles here and there about the world of BDSM, quickly learning that it wasn't all Fifty Shades of Grey. You weren't sure if it was entirely your thing, but you were definitely interested and didn't object to the idea of experimenting.

"Not necessarily no. I do have some experience if you ever want to delve into that realm," his voice bounced. "But I don't really think that's where I want us to go. I can be dominant with you in bed without being a dictionary 'dom'." That made sense.

"Plus," he added. "Despite how dominant I was with you, I won't rule out handing over power to you every now and then."

Hm. You didn't hate the thought of tying Spencer to the bed and making him your bitch, the visual made you smile nonetheless.

"That's what we call a switch. Someone who is willing to be both dominant and submissive in bed," you recognized that word from one of the articles you read. "Although, I definitely lean more to the dominant side," he continued.

"So like, pegging?" you blurted out one of the words you recalled from something you read causing Spencer to sharply cough in shock.

"I was trying to take baby steps and you just...leaped," he patted his chest.

"Pegging is, uh, a concept," he couldn't quite find the words as he was still shocked at what you just said. "A fairly new concept to me. Although I'm not opposed to it, I'll need some time."

You giggled, "Did I just make Dom Spencer Reid nervous?"

"Well when you mention strapping up and hitting me from behind, I'm bound to get a little choked up," he joked along.

You looked out the window, noticing that you were not too far from your building.

"Oh, and Y/N?" you brought your attention to him in response.

"White person smile?" he asked confused yet with a bit of amusement, referring to your earlier comment.

Your shoulders began shaking in silent laughter at his confusion.

"What's so funny?"

"Smile for me," you instructed. He pressed his lips into the exact smile that you were talking about which only made you burst into a deeper laugh. He flipped his hand over gesturing that he was still confused.

Not being able to get words out, you face him and mimicked his awkward smile. His brows furrowed, an offended look on his face.

"I do not smile like that!"

"Yes you do!" a chortle escaping your lips before you mocked him once more.

He shook his head indicating that he gave up until he caught your infectious giggle. You two sat there sharing uncontrollable laughter, positive that you were going to crash if he didn't compose himself and focus on the road. But you didn't care.


	9. Chapter 9 - Running Mascara

*SMUT WARNING*

You still didn't have a new case for work the next day, which is mostly good meaning that there aren't any serial killers on the loose but you hated feeling idle, sitting at your desk for the entire day.

Just as you were finishing up some paperwork, Emily rolled up beside you in her chair. You sighed, knowing exactly what she was going to say you tried to ignore her.

She cleared her throat to let you know that she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

"How can I help you, Agent Prentiss?"

"Oh don't play dumb Y/N! Spill the details."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," your eyes not leaving your computer screen.

"Of your date silly!"

Spencer's eyes shot up to look at you from his desk that was right across from you.

Crap. You remembered back at the restaurant that he made it clear to you, he didn't want any of the team to know about you two. Luckily you had the same thing in mind before you had discussed things and didn't reveal to the girls who your date was.

"You gonna show me a picture of the lucky guy or what?"

Reid lowered his eyes in relief, Emily's statement confirming that she doesn't know it was him.

Just as you were about to blow her off you remembered what Spencer had said the other day, about his weekend being boring when really he was with you that night and decided you'd get a little revenge. "Honestly, he wasn't anything special."

When you glanced back at him, his entire demeanor had changed without him moving a single muscle. His facial expression had stayed the same but you could feel his energy shift in response to what you said.

"Aww really? No going back to your place or anything?"

"Nah, I'm not really sure if I wanted to go home with him. The guy was a bore," you settled back in your chair with exaggerated casualness.

Spencer took in a long breath as Prentiss had pity on her face.

"I honestly should have taken up your offer of a girls' night out," mischief in your voice.

Emily scoffed at your supposed 'wasted time' as Reid stood out of his chair and walked off. You laughed to yourself.

"It's okay, we can always reschedule and help find you a man together," she rolled back to her desk as you smiled.

Not long after, your phone lit up with a text from Spencer.

From: Spencer

Bad move. Come to the elevators.

Ha! You got under his skin once again. Plus, what is he going to do to you at the elevators? The only buttons you were pushing were his.

You made your way out of the bullpen, not seeing your friend anywhere. Until you felt someone grab your arm from behind and yank you into a random file room.

It was Spencer.

The room was just barely lit up, enough to make out that it was Spencer who was standing just inches from you, his eyes dark.

"You told Em?"

"I-I just told the girls I had plans and they just assumed it was a date."

"Then why'd you play along with her when she asked how your 'date' went?"

You shrugged your shoulders, not really sure yourself, "To push your buttons?"

"I don't quite believe you," he said in a false calm voice.

"Then that sounds like a personal proble-"

"Get on your knees," he cut you off. Caught off guard your eyes widened. He's demanded that you do things before but something about that phrase was just...wow. He raised his eyebrows, asking if he was going to have to repeat himself.

You kneeled, your gaze not leaving his. Were you really about to give your coworker head? In your federal place of work? Yeah.

His hand circled your face, cupping your cheek. Your eyes were innocent as his thumb brushed your hair away from your face.

"How do you suppose I punish you?"

You ran your hands up his legs, "I don't see how this is much of a punishment Dr. Reid, for all you know I've been wanting to do this."

The hand that was softly caressing your hair now grabbed a handful of it and yanked your head back causing you to gasp.

"Go on then," he growled.

You could see the bulge forming in his pants and cupped it, hearing his breathing change. His pants grew tighter, begging for some form of relief. Slowly rubbing along his zipper, your hands made their way to his belt. You slowly rolled the leather strap out of its buckle, the metal clinking as you undid his buttons.

You looked back up at Spencer to find that his eyes bore into you. You pushed his trousers down and shortly pushed his underwear down with it, his erection sprung out in front of you.

All this time you had a hunch that he was big, but fuck he was larger than you thought.

You grazed your lips across the tip to tease him, causing him to sharply inhale.

"Stop teasing me," his grip on your hair tightened. You let out a cocky chuckle with your head tilted up towards him.

Without hesitation, you wrapped your small hands around his thick shaft and began to pump. Spencer let out a groan, his eyes going black as you went against his order and teased him once more, bringing your face closer to his dick and pulling it away.

Feeling his breathing picking up you decided to finally give it to him. You swirled your tongue around his tip and wrapped your lips around it. His head rolling back as you slide your mouth all the way down his dick, taking in as much of his length as you could.

You worked up and down him, Spencer letting out a moan every time his cock hit the back of your throat.

The sounds leaving his mouth gave you the motivation to go harder. You removed your mouth, Spencer's eyes looking down at you wondering why you stopped.

You pushed your hair completely out of your face, a dangerous glint in your eyes. You spit on Spencer's dick, his lips parting at the sight of drool hanging off your lips and onto him.

With one last smirk, you roughly shoved his cock back into your mouth.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed at the sudden move.

Not holding back you bobbed your head, picking up your speed the louder his moans got.

"Is your 'date' still a bore? Huh?" he asked out of breath.

"Mm mm," you hummed denying.

His fistful of your hair became a handle, he used it to control your head and thrust back into your mouth. You gagged uncontrollably, spit flying out of your mouth, and your eyes and nose watering.

"F-fuck, do you fucking want it?" he grunted. You could tell he was close by the way his movements became jagged.

You moaned in response. You felt his cum move up his dick until it began spurting down your throat as he twitched in your mouth. You swallowed every last bit of it. His hips bucking and an array of swears leaving his mouth. He pushed you down one more time and then released his grip on your hair.

Looking down at the obscene image of you with spit running down your chin and eyes red from all the tears, he dragged his thumb across your bottom lip letting out a sigh.

You stood up with your hands on your knees for support. Spencer wrapped his hand around the back of your head and pulled you into a hungry kiss, tasting himself on your tongue.

He tucked himself back into his trousers, "You go out first, I'll come out in a minute."

You nodded, trying to smooth down your now tangled hair and wipe anything that was on your face, and exited the room. No one noticed you leave the room so you made your way back to your desk, without making a scene. You felt Reid's footsteps behind you not long after.

Before you were able to situate yourselves, you saw Hotch motion at you two that he wanted to speak with you. You guys looked at each other with wide eyes.

Shit. The last thing you needed was your boss to reprimand you for blowing off your colleague on the job. Reid nodded at you, indicating to act natural.

You smiled at Hotch as you made your way towards his office, Spencer holding the door open for you. Your heart was racing as you dreaded being yelled at.

You guys stood side by side like two children who were about to get in trouble, your faces flushed.

Hotch squinted his eyes looking at you, you held your breath ready to be faced with the most awkward conversation of your life.

"Are you two okay? You look like you've seen a ghost," he asked slightly concerned. You guys nodded your head in sync.

"Where were you just now?" his voice calm.

"Wewerejustgettingcoffee!" you slurred your words in panic.

"Y-yeah! You know, tired and all," Reid added just as panicked.

Hotch blinks as he tilts his head to the side, "Okay..."

"Well I just wanted to ask you guys how far along you were with your paperwork," he continued, hesitant.

You let out a short breath. Oh.

"Really?" Spencer asked, his voice jumped.

"Yes, everyone handed theirs into me beside you two, now I see that you were just grabbing some coffee. Is there something I should know about?" a look of puzzlement crossed his face.

"NO!" you two yelled in unison, looking at each other annoyed at how suspicious that sounded.

"Alright," he narrowed his eyes. "Well get back to work."

You gave a quick smile and fled the room, crashing into each other as you both tried to go through the doorway at the same time. Spencer stepped back, putting his hand out allowing you to go first.

Hotch watched you walk off for a bit until he shook his head and went back to work. He definitely knew something was up, he's the damn leader of a team of profilers, but he didn't have the time to dig into what it was.

As you approached your desks JJ was passing by. She put a hand on your shoulder stopping you in your tracks. Great. You didn't need another heart attack by a confrontation.

"You okay Y/N?" she asked, concern filled her voice.

"Yeah! Why wouldn't I be?" Aside from being convinced that I was going to be fired for giving my coworker a damn blowjob across the room from my unit chief.

"Your mascara is running down your face, you look like you've been crying."

Fucking. What.

Are you fucking telling me I just had an entire conversation, with my boss, with makeup all over my face Jennifer?

"I uh- I must have rubbed my eyes or something and forgot that I had eye makeup on," you pressed your lips into a smile. She nodded her head and walked off, back into her office.

The second she turned around you rolled your eyes, cursing yourself at how bad your life sucked. You plopped down into your chair with a frown on your face, as your glare burned into Spencer.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"You couldn't give me a little heads-up? 'Hey Y/N! You look like a goddamn raccoon, might wanna fix yourself before walking into your boss's office.'" you said in a sarcastically jolly  
tone.

"I'm sorry, I didn't have time to!" he threw his shoulders up.

You opened your phone's camera looking at yourself on the screen. Nice. JJ was right, you looked like you had just bawled your eyes out. You let out an exasperated sigh as you slumped your shoulders down.

Before grabbing a napkin to wipe the black smudges under your eyes you heard a snicker come from in front of you. Your head shot up as you saw Spencer trying to hold back a laugh.

"What?" you spat out. Your mouth fell open, "Did you not tell me on purpose you little shit?"

Spencer threw his head back and slapped his thighs in amusement. He fucking did!

"Oh you are an asshole Spencer Reid," you briefly glowered before you took another look at your reflection. You did look pretty hilarious.

You put your face into your hands as you began to laugh at yourself, joining Spencer as you two childishly giggled away.


	10. Chapter 10 - Faint Scars

*TRIGGER WARNING: abuse/sexual abuse, self-harm/scars*

Two weeks. It had been two weeks since what happened in that file room with Spencer. You finally had a case that lasted a couple of days, so him not making any advances towards you was understandable. But even for the time in which you didn't have a case, which was about a week and a half, nothing. Did he regret it? He told you back in his car that he wasn't using you and you believed it, but this was a bit strange.

When it was time to head home you watched Spencer as he put on his jacket and messenger bag. You walked over to him, his back to you.

"Hey."

He turned his body to look at you, "Oh, hey," he gave a small smile.

"Do you have any plans tonight?" you rolled onto your tiptoes and back on your heels.

"Not really."

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my place. To watch a movie and have a chill night," you just wanted an excuse to hang out with him outside of work. It didn't have to be sexual, you just missed your best friend.

He looked hesitant and you couldn't figure out why. Why did he not want to be around?

"S-sure sounds good," you smiled as he accepted your offer.

"Cool, I'll drive, my car is just around the corner."

...

The car ride to your apartment was pretty quiet, every now and then one of you would bring up something about work and go quiet for another few minutes.

When you got to your apartment you both settled down, taking off your bags and jackets. You changed into a gray sweater and black leggings to be more comfortable.

Plopping onto your couch you patted the empty space next to you, motioning to Spencer to have a seat.

"What are we watching?" he asked as he walked over to you.

"Well I would let you pick but I'd prefer to watch a movie that I understand."

He awkwardly chuckled at your joke.

As you put on a random movie that looked good you couldn't help but notice how different of a person he was during "sex". The way he was right now is the only Spencer you've ever known, cute, shy, a little awkward. But the Spencer you saw two weeks ago was an entirely different person, not that you were complaining.

When he sat down you snuggled up next to him not thinking much of it until he slightly jumped at your touch.

The first half of the movie was fine. At some point, you popped some popcorn for you guys to snack on. Every now and then your hands would touch inside the bowl causing you to look at each other for a second.

You guys watched the screen intently as two characters in the movie had gotten into a heated argument. It was a man and his teenage daughter.

You began to feel sick to your stomach at some of the words that were coming out of his mouth. The daughter tried leaving the house to escape the situation until her father yelled at her to get back in.

"GET THE FUCK BACK INSIDE YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BITCH!"

Those words caused to you flinch, fear filling your body. Spencer looked down at you with confusion as your eyes squeezed shut and your breathing picked up in response to the bone-chilling and all too familiar sentence.

"You okay?" he asked concerned.

When you noticed how intensely you reacted you nodded with embarrassment. Even though it was clear to him that you were not okay, he looked back up at the screen not wanting to pry.

As the credits began to roll up the screen you looked over at Spencer who was already looking at you. After a few moments of silence, he broke it with a question.

"Can I ask?" he said in a soft voice.

You looked down, knowing exactly what he wanted to ask.

"I just- I want to understand you better. I know who you are today but I don't know what made you the person you are today," he was clearly indicating your past. "But if you don't wanna talk about it I won't force you."

He was right. You didn't really talk about what you went through when you were younger to anyone, let alone the team. The only person who knew about it was Hotch, as your unit chief, he needed to look through your files before hiring you to the BAU.

You knew about Spencer's trauma, he confided in you the most and never held back. You were glad to know that he felt safe with you because he was. You were one of the only people out of the rest of the team who was there for him when he was addicted to Dilaudid.

One of his most recent traumatic experiences was the murder of his girlfriend, Maeve. He was doing better after weeks, even months of grieving, but you were sure that the event sat at the back of his head even today. You wish it didn't, you wanted to take all of his pain away but never acknowledged your own.

You took a deep breath, a pit already in your stomach.

"My father passed away when I was 12. He'd been abusing me for the time that he was alive and my mother turned a blind eye to it."

Spencer shifted in his seat.

"As much as I was sad that he had passed I thought 'Well at least I won't get hit anymore. Right?' That was until my mother got a new boyfriend. He was worse," the lump in your throat remained after your attempt to swallow.

You went quiet for a moment. "Take your time," Spencer said in a gentle voice.

"H-he...not only hit me and verbally abused me, but he used to...touch me."

Spencer took a deep breath, his eyebrows furrowed and face filled with concern at your indication that you were sexually abused as a child.

"He'd burn cigarettes on me," you lifted your sleeves to show the faint yet visible round scars that ran along your upper arm. "He wouldn't let me eat for days at a time, hit me with whatever he could find, and more."

"When I was around 15 I realized that I had no one. I had no siblings, no friends, my own mother was aware of what was happening to me but deliberately chose to ignore it. So I started cutting myself, it was the only way I could gain some form of escape and relief," you turned your arm so your palms faced upwards revealing more fading scars, horizontal ones that went up your forearm. Your stare reached yards beyond his head.

"Can I?" He asked for permission to touch you and you allowed him.

You watched as Reid's lips parted, his hands lightly running along your scars that he hadn't noticed before.

"Most of the other things he'd done to me, I was able to block out. But that scene of the movie sounded too much like him and I guess it just triggered me."

"I tolerated it," you continued. "Until I turned 18. One day I stood up to him as he was yelling at me, and it wasn't like in the movies where the big bad villain backs down. It set something off in him, the look in his eyes went from mean to murderous. He began beating me, harder than he ever had before, to the point where if he kept going I would've for sure ended up with brain damage. He was trying to kill me." Spencer twisted his mouth, taking a deep breath in shock at what you were telling him.

"I ran. I ran and I never looked back. What the guy said in the movie, sounded a lot like my stepfather's last words to me. I had no resources but I managed to get a little job and pay my way through college studying criminal psychology so I could catch people like my father and my step-father. And now, here I am."

The silence was deafening. Spencer's mouth opened a couple of times but no words came out, you could tell he didn't want to say the wrong thing.

Looking up to greet his eyes, you searched Spencer's face that was frozen in disbelief. How had he not known? His best friend of three years had gone through so much and he had no clue. It wasn't his fault but he couldn't help but feel guilty.

"Y/N...I-I don't know what to say. I'm so so sorry that happened to you."

"Don't apologize, Spence, it's not your fault. Sure all of this was traumatic but like you said it made me into the person I am today, I've come a long way. I wouldn't be saving lives with the team. I wouldn't have met you."

His gaze met yours and he was able to push out a sweet smile at that last sentence.

"Just please don't let this change how you treat me. I don't want you to think you're walking on eggshells when you're talking to me. I'm still Y/N, your goofy best friend...who occasionally gives you blowjobs."

His eyebrows raised in shock at your attempt to lighten the situation but he let out a chuckle.

"This doesn't change anything," he took your hand in his and planted a soft kiss on the scars you had just shown him, a sense of comfort washed over you.

Spencer placed his hand on your shoulders and brought you into his embrace. The moment your face hit his chest you melted into his arm. You could no longer put up the strong, nothing-can-hurt-me front that you always have. Tears flowed freely down your face, soaking his shirt as you sobbed in his arms.

His hands smoothed your hair down, "Shh, it's okay. You're so strong," he whispered to you in a soft, calming voice.

You just shared a part of yourself that you've never shared with anyone else willingly. Talking out your problems and expressing your emotions is something you are terrible at. 

You stored the book which held these painful chapters of your life away, leaving it on a shelf to collect dust. But with Spencer, you could pick that book up and flip through the pages that were wrinkled with dried tears. 

You were safe with Spencer Reid, and he was safe with you.


	11. Chapter 11 - Snowy Nights & Hot Cocoa

*SMUT WARNING*

Neither of you mentioned the conversation you had back at your apartment, as you wanted. You and Spencer have been hanging out at each other's places regularly after work, but no sex, no head, no...vibrators. 

You've been choosing to walk home together lately just to spend more time with each other and be able to have deeper conversations without one of you having to focus on driving. Talking with Spencer distracted you from the cold air of D.C weather.

When you two met up in front of the office building you noticed that it had started snowing not too long ago, the white already piled up on the sidewalk.

"Great, neither of us brought our cars," you shrugged your shoulders walking in the direction of your homes.

"It's okay, walking in the snow could be refreshing," he admired the small white specks that were falling around him.

You groaned, pulling your coat tighter.

You made it a few blocks, complaining the entire way, noticing that there was no one on the streets.

"See, any sane person would take a cab or something instead of walking in this weather."

"What do you mean? I love the winter," Spencer protested.

"Who in the world enjoys the freezing cold?!" you exclaimed.

"Me!" he replied, "I mean just think about all that the winter brings: Christmas, hot cocoa, pretty lights."

"Yeah, you know what else the cold brings? Hypothermia!" you jutted your head at him, putting emphasis on the last word as he shook his head. "I have to wear huge jackets that make me look like a damn pufferfish. Warm weather is where it's at."

"Gross! All that warm weather brings is sweat and sluggishness, and the last thing that YOU need is to have an excuse to be lazier," he snickered.

This bitch.

Your mouth hung open at his offensive little joke. As he walked a bit ahead of you with a shit-eating smirk on his face, you looked down at a sheet of snow that was sitting under your feet and had an idea. You bent down and dragged your hands across the cleanest part of the snow you could find, flinching at the cold feeling on your bare hands.

You rolled the snow into a smooth sphere. Just as Spencer began to turn around wondering why you weren't beside him, you chucked the ball at him as hard as you could. Spencer let out a high-pitched squeal as the snowball crumbled on impact, some of it manages to make it down his jacket causing you to giggle at the sight.

After he shook all of the snow off of him, whimpering as he did so, he stared at you with creased brows and a horrified expression on his face.

"WHAT THE HELL?" his voice high.

"What? I thought you loved the snow," you teased.

He stared at you for a moment. Tucking his chin and raising his eyebrows, "Oh you're going to pay for this Y/L/N," he said in a terrifyingly calm voice.

The pride and playfulness left your eyes as you watched Spencer reach down and speedily form a snowball of his own that was much bigger than yours.

Before you could react and shield yourself or run away, Spencer hurled the sphere at you leaving you with a face full of snow. You yelped loudly as you erratically brushed the freezing fragments off of your skin, your cheeks now on fire from the cold.

"Oh my god!" You looked back up at Spencer, a frown spreading across your face. He was getting a kick out of this as he laughed with his hands over his stomach.

His laughter was cut off by your sudden movement of grabbing a handful of snow, not even bothering to form it into a perfect sphere. "Oh, it's on genius."

Spencer quickly ran in an attempt to shield himself as you chased him with the snowball. You two alternated chucking snow at each other, yelling that you were going to win this one.

Being the only people outside, the empty street was filled with roaring laughter and yells as you and Spencer were caught in a snowball fight like two little kids. 

...

Spencer grabbed your hand and you two ran into his apartment when the snow started to get really bad. He shut the door as you two were shaking with laughter, breathing heavily from all of the running you just did. 

"The last time I ran that much was when Morgan tricked me into training for the fitness examination," Reid let out a breathy laugh. 

"Okay, maybe winter doesn't totally suck."

As you settled down Spencer went into his room to grab a change of clothes for the both of you as your clothes were soaked. He came out and threw a pair of his grey sweat pants and navy blue t-shirts on the couch for you.

Even though he's seen you pretty much naked, he heads back into his kitchen while you changed. 

"Do you want some hot cocoa?" he shouted.

"Yeah, that sounds great!"

You settled on his couch, snuggling into the shirt that smelled like him. After about 10 minutes he returned with two Christmas-themed mugs in hand.

"These are adorable," you reached for the drink as he smiled. You took a sip, letting out a loud breath at the warm feeling it gave you down your chest.

You admired Spencer's cute face as he chewed on the mini marshmallows.

"What?" he asked innocently noticing that you stopped drinking.

With the mug still cupped in both of your hands, you quickly leaned over and planted your lips on his, catching him by surprise. You pulled back to find a sweet smile on his face in response.

He set his drink down on the small table in front of the couch and you did the same. Gently placing his hand on your cheek he brought you back into a soft kiss, his lips still tasting of the sweet chocolate. You inched closer to him, his free hand finding its way to your leg.

Spencer begins pushing you back against his couch, not breaking the kiss that was growing more urgent. His hand ran down your side, caressing your waist and making its way to the hem of his shirt that you were wearing. His leg rested between your legs occasionally causing friction, you moaned in response.

Slowly pulling the shirt off of you, his mouth moved down, planting kisses down your brown skin. His lips feeling warm against the cool skin of your neck and chest. Feeling how bad you needed to feel something down there, his hand slipped under the waistband of the sweatpants. He groaned at the wet spot he felt on your underwear, trailing his finger up and down through it.

After a moment he removed his hand and you wondered why. You saw him reach over to his coffee table and dip his finger in the glass of hot chocolate, you watched him curiously. 

He quickly brought his finger to you and dripped the warm liquid onto your bare skin causing you to gasp lightly at the sudden heat. He continued to trail droplets down your skin trying his best not to let them fall onto his couch or the clothes that you were wearing.

When he was done he brought his fingers up to your lips, asking for access. You opened your mouth as he slipped his fingers in. Grabbing his wrist, you licked the sugary liquid off of his fingers, swirling your tongue around and hollowing your cheeks as he watched your mouth intently.

Once his fingers were licked clean he brought his mouth to the spots that pooled with the hot chocolate and kissed them hungrily. You let out soft moans as he nipped at your sensitive skin. He pulled your sweatpants off to reveal your light blue panties.

Some of the liquid had managed to drip down your abdomen and slightly onto your pussy causing you to whimper at the hot feeling. Spencer looked down at where it had ended up and laughed, "I guess it's your lucky day." He pulled down your panties enough to expose you and took you into his mouth suckling on the chocolate that was not meant to be there. You let out a squeal at the feeling of his soft lips attracted around your clit, his tongue flicking it every now and then.

When he cleaned the liquid off of you after a few minutes of him eating you out, he slipped his finger back down. His finger was immediately coated in your juices.

He let out a low chuckle, "Is this because of me?" he said as he dragged your wetness up and down your slit.

The feeling sent an aching pleasure through your core causing your hips to buck in an effort to grind against his hand. Picking up on your need for more stimulation, he circled your clit once more before slipping a finger inside of you causing you to let out a loud moan.

He worked his middle finger inside of you, telling you how tight you are until he slipped in a second one. He curled both fingers inside of you and pumped them in and out hitting your sweet spot every time. 

Your moans became continuous as Spencer massaged your slick walls. 

"You know the clitoris contains over fifteen thousand nerve endings," he said with a low chuckle, you moaned in response. He added his thumb to your clit and began rubbing it while working your g-spot at the same time. The combination of both was too much. Your hands grasped the side of Reid's arms as you shut your eyes anticipating your orgasm. 

Suddenly you felt his hand grab ahold of your face, squishing your cheeks together.

"Open your eyes," he demanded.

You looked deep into his eyes as your pussy contracted around his fingers, your moans becoming sharp gasps. His eyes were dark as he watched you twitch under him.

Your breathing slowed down as Spencer brought his glistening fingers up to your mouth. You sucked on them once more tasting yourself on him before he brought the same fingers up to his own mouth. Your lips parted as you watched him take in your juices too.

Letting out one final sigh, you cringed as you felt the sticky residue on your tummy.

"Y-you can use my shower if you'd like," Spencer smiled handing you his clothes.

"Thanks," you pressed your lips into a smile and headed to his bathroom.

You hopped in the shower not taking too long and threw on the same clothes he gave to you earlier as they were still clean. When you exited the bathroom you saw Spencer still sat on his couch.

"I should go..." you said hesitantly not wanting to intrude.

"What, no! There's a literal blizzard out there Y/N," he was right. "Stay the night here, I don't mind."

"Are you sure? I don't have a toothbrush or anything."

"Of course, and I probably have an extra one in my cabinet."

He wasn't going to let you out there so you accepted his offer. You walked over to the sofa and thanked him. 

Spencer suggested you had a movie marathon night, something you did a lot before...well this. 

You were able to make it through a couple of films, Reid spewing out facts and pointing out any scientific errors that he could find. 

His arm found his way around you as you snuggled into his warm chest, taking in the comforting scent of his cologne. You drifted asleep within seconds, your earlier orgasm making you sleepier than usual. 

It felt as if you two were puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together as you belonged in his arms. You don't know what it was about Spencer Reid that was so perfect for you, but he was just that. Perfect.


	12. Chapter 12 - Inhibition

You wake up the next morning, the first thing you register is the lack of Spencer's presence. You look around his empty living room until you spot a small purple note on his coffee table.

"Y/N, I totally forgot that I had a couple of errands to run this morning. Hopefully, I'm back not long after you see this. Please help yourself to anything for breakfast :) -Spence"

You smiled at his crooked little smiley face. This man had three doctorates but couldn't write neatly for the life of him. 

Standing up you made your way to his kitchen, not wanting to rummage through his fridge you decided to start some coffee and have breakfast at home. As you were waiting for the coffee to brew you decided to make Spencer a sandwich as a surprise for when he got home.

You placed the plated sandwich in the middle of his granite counter and drew a little heart on the back of the note he left you. After finishing your coffee you cleaned up a bit for him, left the clothes he lent to you on his bed, and headed out.

About half an hour after you got home you got a call from Spencer.

"Hello?"

"Hey," you could hear his smile through the phone. 

"Did you see what I left for you?"

"I did, the sandwich was delicious Princess thank you."

Your heart fluttered at the pet name.

"Princess? That's a new one," you blushed hard.

"D-do you like it?"

"Hmm, I don't know, I see myself as more of a queen," you teased.

"Okay, humble yourself or no more cute nicknames for you Agent," his voice low.

You rolled your eyes but were smiling like an idiot, "Whatever you say, doctor." You ended the call leaving him hanging. 

Princess.

You've always hated pet names but coming from Spencer, you couldn't get enough of it.

...

When you got home you changed into some comfortable clothes and whipped up some breakfast for yourself. You spent the day cleaning around the house and completing some other chores before plopping down onto your couch and reading for a bit.

The evening time came around and you were surprised by a knock at your door, you weren't expecting company. 

You uncrossed your legs from the comfy position you were curled up in and walked over to the door. You unlocked it and cracked it open just enough to see who it was.

It was Spence!

You opened the door fully to find Spencer standing there with his hands filled with takeout.

"I ordered Indian!" he lifted the bags up, a pure smile spreading across his face.

You smiled and moved aside to let him in as he made his way to your couch area, placing the bags down on your carpet.

Despite being a germaphobe Spencer likes eating on the floor, he found it comforting and so did you. Every time we'd have takeout at one of the team members' houses they'd set everything up on the floor as they enjoyed it just as much, it made for a fun experience.

"You didn't tell me you were getting food for us," you said pleasantly surprised, Reid shrugged his shoulders as he took everything out of the bag.

The two of you casually chatted as you ate. You occasionally laughing at Spencer sweating because of how spicy the food was and him struggling to use his fork and knife.

"Here," you took the utensils out of his hand, "you need to lose these."

"Well, how am I supposed to eat then?"

"It's traditional Indian culture to eat with your hands," Spencer knew this obviously. He knew a lot of things but he didn't put most of it to use.

You grabbed the naan that was on your plate and held it up, "This is your utensil." You ripped a piece off and Spencer mirrored you. "You use this to sop up the curry." He watched you, taking in what you were doing like a sponge. You effortlessly popped the piece of food into your mouth and looked at him, indicating for him to do the same.

He slowly brought the food up to his mouth, the curry dripping a little as he struggled to keep it intact. When he successfully began eating the food you clapped, "Yes!"

Spencer smiled with glee, "I've never been able to do that on my own!" You cheered as he did it once again, this time not spilling anything. He joined you letting out a geeky cheer. 

"Next, I'll have to teach you how to use chopsticks," you joked after you were done celebrating.

"Oh, that'll be way harder than this."

"Maybe I could try and teach you anyways sometime," you said softly.

Spencer looked up at you and gave you an almost forced-looking smile at your indication that you wanted to go on a date. Picked up on his hesitation, you remembered what he said back at the restaurant. 'We aren't dating Y/N.' You quickly changed the subject, your fear of rejection filled your body with regret. 

"Sorry Y/N I didn't mean to-"

"No it's fine, let's just eat." He had a sorry look on his face but didn't say anything more.

After finishing your meal you guys found yourselves deep in discussion and curled up on your couch for hours, talking, debating, hell even gossiping. 

Spencer looked at the clock, "It's getting late, I should go."

"You should stay!" you said a little too eagerly.

"Okay," he smiled walking back to your couch. 

After some more talking, you eventually made it to your room where you chatted for a bit longer.

When the conversation trailed off you two sat there in silence. The tension between you was no longer sexual, it was now romantic. You sighed and scooted over to where Spencer was laying and sunk under his arm. You wrapped your arm around his stomach as he pulled you closer.

You lifted your head to look up at him, his eyes met yours. Bringing your lips up to his you planted a tender kiss on his soft lips, him closing his eyes in response. You brought your hand up to cup his cheek, your thumb lightly brushing the side of his face comfortingly and he melted into your hand. 

You laid there for what felt like hours, not knowing what this embrace was and why it happened so suddenly. 

"What?" you said to him in a soft whisper as you noticed a strange look on his face.

"...Nothing," he half-blinked.

Spencer's eyes flashed with an emotion you had not seen before, it was inhibition. He wanted to lose himself in you but he couldn't, he wouldn't let himself. Why was he being so closed off all of the sudden? These past few weeks with Spencer have been amazing, and you're sure that he enjoyed them too.

At the same time your body filled with a different feeling, fondness, safety, comfort. You've never allowed yourself to fall in love before, so you didn't know what you were feeling at the moment. All you knew is that if love was stronger than whatever you felt for Spencer, it was dangerous. Too dangerous.

...

Spencer began unbuckling his pants, you were laying there on your back completely naked, yearning to feel him inside of you already. He positioned himself at your entrance, "You don't know how long I've been waiting to do this Y/N." Slowly he pushed his dick inside of you, thrusting it eagerly. You've craved him for so long you felt your orgasm already coming as he began circling your clit. Your moans became louder and so did Spencer's. 

"Spencer, yes!" you continued to moan.

All of a sudden you jolted awake, out of breath. Fuck! Stupid fucking wet dreams.

Before you were able to fully open your eyes you felt a hand caressing your side. Oh my god. You completely forgot that Spencer had spent the night.

"I'd kill to know what you were just dreaming about Princess," his morning voice raspy and low.

Your cheeks turn bright red from embarrassment. Please don't tell me I moaned his name out loud. "W-what are you talking about," you tried to play dumb.

"I can recognize those sweet moans anywhere," he began to lightly brush your sensitive skin under your top.

You felt his forming bulge press against your ass as you began to rock back into it. Spencer groaned at the feeling. His hand slowly trailed up, just barely cupping your breast. You arched your back, sticking your chest out as his fingertips slowly grazed your nipple earning a small moan from you. His finger began circling your now hard nub, pinching it lightly as he planted soft kisses along your neck.

You kept moving your ass around, giving Spencer more friction as you felt him growing. He stopped playing with your nipples and grabbed ahold of your hip. Rocking you back a little, in one quick motion he had flipped you to face him, your leg now hooked around his hips. Your privates were clothed but still touching. 

You absolutely craved to feel his dick against your bare pussy but this was as close as you had gotten. He planted a hungry kiss on your lips. You moaned through the kiss as he ground against you, letting out a low groan when you bucked your hips back. 

Fuck. You needed him inside you. NOW.

Your hands trailed down to cup his erection, you longed to just pull out his cock. Before you could proceed, Spencer had gotten up in one swift motion and made his way to your bathroom as nothing had happened.

I hate him. So. Much.


	13. Chapter 13 - Lovers' Quarrel

After that night with Spencer, you guys once again drifted apart for days. You didn't understand why he kept doing this. If he truly wanted to stop what was going on between you and distance himself, he would've done it already. But he seemed to make his way back to you with his sexual advances. 

You liked messing around with him but you didn't like being messed around with. 

You've tried to confront him but he would tell you that work was piling up especially the cases, and at the time you bought it.

The team got back from an exhausting case today and they weren't very happy with you. You're usually a very methodical person and think with your head, but tensions were high for you during this week's case. Maybe it was your annoyance towards Spencer that cause you to act on your emotions. 

You were the first agent to get to the scene where the unsub was holding a man hostage. Without calling backup you rushed into the house to handle it on your own because you didn't want anyone to die when you could've done something.

This unsub had a very short temper and talking him down was nearly impossible. When the team managed to track you down they found you with a gun pointed right at your head, one wrong move and you were dead.

Hotch was extremely angry with you, he scolded you throughout the plane ride and gave you another earful when you got back to the office. You didn't argue with him because he was right, you don't know what the hell you were thinking and why you acted so ruthlessly. As your unit chief, he was responsible for your actions on the field and if the bureau saw it as careless enough, he could be fired.

The rest of the team wasn't happy as well. Derek scolded you as well once the unsub was fortunately in custody. However, the person who was the most upset, maybe even more than Hotch, was Reid. Usually, he would be able to use his words towards others but he couldn't look at you let alone say something to you.

When you got to the office was a different story. Everyone was standing in the bullpen together upon entrance, Penelope approached you all confused.

"Why the long faces superheroes?" There was an awkward silence until Reid spoke up.

"Some of us think making impulsive, moronic decisions in order to feel like a superhero is a good idea!" he exclaimed making direct eye contact with Garcia. 

She stepped back at his sudden outburst, the rest of the team staring at him wide-eyed. You were in shock at his choice of words. Impulsive was correct but moronic? What the fuck?

"Spence..." Emily placed a hand on his shoulder to calm him down which only made him angrier as he snatched his body from under her hand causing her to flinch.

"Riddle me this Y/N," he spat your name. "What in god's name did you think you were going to accomplish by marching into a house with a violent psychopath holding a gun?! Huh?"

"Spencer there was an unarmed civilian in the house with that violent psychopath holding a gun," you said in a timid voice not looking at him directly in the eye.

"So what? Did you think you could single-handedly take him down? He managed to get you onto your knees with a gun held to your forehead and he wouldn't have hesitated to shoot if we didn't make it there on time!" he was shaking in anger, his hands flailing in the air. You noticed a strain in his voice. Was he about to cry?

"Why are you screaming at me as if you've never done anything similar?!" you were beginning to get angry so you shouted back. The rest of the team stood with their mouths open at the fight that was taking place.

"Oh so now you're turning this on me?" he scoffed. "I mean how could you be so fucking stupid and selfish Y/N?!" his words pierced through you, like a hot knife through butter.

"REID!" Hotch yelled impatiently. "What's gotten into you?"

Spencer looked around at his team who was watching him, in awe of the sight that was in front of them. Their sweet and patient friend had lashed out like he never had before. 

When he brought his eyes back to your face, the look of hurt, shock, and even fear filled his body with regret. He shook his head, "Sorry," and stormed off.

The silence in the bullpen after he walked away rung throughout your ears. You felt the pressure at the center of your face increase as you tried to hold back tears as you didn't want to seem like his tone hurt you as much as they did.

"You okay sweetheart?" Morgan gently placed a hand on the small of your back, giving it a light brush.

"Yeah...yeah, I'm fine," you tried to sound as composed as possible.

"I apologize for that Y/L/N, I'll have a conversation about his behavior," Hotch said in a soft voice across from you.

"No! Really Hotch, I did something very dumb and Spencer has every right to be upset," you assured him choking back tears. "I'll be fine, really."

Your boss sighed and nodded right before walking off to his office. You gave the rest of your team a faint smile as they put a hand on your shoulder and walked away. Left alone standing in the middle of your office, your sadness quickly turned to resentment. Who the hell does he think he is? How dare he embarrass you in front of your friends and colleagues like that?

As everyone made their way home, you drove straight to Spencer's apartment. He was not going to get away with treating you like this.

When you got to his door, you pounded on it with the side of your fist. The door swung open, Reid's eyebrows furrowed as he wondered who was knocking so aggressively. His face softened when he found that it was you on the other side. Your arms were crossed and your foot tapped on the floor.

"Y/N..." he exhaled and moved aside to let you in.

"Y/N I'm sor-"

"NO. You listen to me!" his eyebrows raised at you cutting him off.

"I don't know who you think you are, but you are not my boss and you had no right to yell at me in front of everyone. You play this little dominant character when we're alone, but that's for WHEN WE ARE ALONE, don't even think about bringing that around our daily life because they are two different contexts. You have carelessly put your life on the line numerous times for a case before and no matter how angry I was with you I never embarrassed you in front of everyone like that. I'm tired of this bullshit little game you're playing with me Spencer, you treat me like you own me but then don't speak to me for weeks. It's just not fair. I may be a sad bitch with daddy issues but that does not mean that I need you to act like my fucking father. So f-fuck you!"

Your heart was racing and you were out of breath from the rant you just went on. Spencer looking at you, not offended but understanding. 

"You're right, and I'm sorry. I acted like a child back at the office and I shouldn't have embarrassed you in front of the team like that. What you did was careless but I was also just scared," his voice was soft.

"But why? Why were you so scared even after I was safe?" you asked.

"Because of the thought of you dying! The image of that unsub pulling the trigger and killing you right there keeps replaying in my mind! I can't lose another person that I-" he paused not finishing his sentence. You tilted your head as your empathetic face deepened.

"That I care about...I can't lose another person that I care about," he quickly corrected himself. "I don't know what I would've done if I lost you, I can't see my life without you."

You slowly walked towards him and cupped his face, he nestled into your caress.

"P-please Y/N, just be careful," he turned his head to plant a soft kiss on your hand.

"I will," you said through a warm smile in a caring tone.

He placed his hands on your hips and pressed his lips against yours, a tear rolling down his cheek. His body loosened under you as the salty tears coated your lips. The rhythm of your kiss grew, Spencer's hand wandering on your body. 

When his tears dried he surprised you by hooking his hands under you and lifting you up. He was pretty skinny and a bit lean but he was a hell of a lot stronger than he looked because you sensed no struggle whatsoever in that lift. You squealed as your legs wrapped around his waist, not breaking the kiss. His hands were placed under your butt for support as he ran his hands along the material of your pants. He walked you to his bedroom and carefully yet aggressively pushed you onto his bed. He stood between your legs, your back against his bed as he hovered over you.

"I'm still mad at you, you know," he growled through the kiss.

"Are you gonna punish me?" your voice breathy.

His hand snapped up and under your jaw, "You deserve it."

Fuck. I suppose I deserve it then.


	14. Chapter 14 - Disobedient Brat

*SMUT WARNING*

Spencer began undressing you, first came your pale yellow blouse, then your trousers. He snaked his hand up your back, effortlessly unhooking your black bra as you shook it off. He took your chest into his mouth, giving each of your nipples a suck before moving to your panties. Rolling your underwear off of your legs he threw it onto the floor and took a moment to admire what he was looking at.

"Fuck," he groaned as he stared at your naked body.

He turned his body towards his nightstand and rummaged in the top drawer, you assumed for a condom. But in his hand was a tiny key rather than a foil wrapper. He bent down and started unlocking the bottom drawer. When he pulled it open you noticed an array of colorful sex toys.

Well shit. That's where he kept them. You couldn't make out much of what he had in there but you saw the vibrator he used on you about a month ago, a couple of other things with straps, and some objects that looked like they belonged in a toolbox. It was odd but it excited you.

He shut the drawer and stood up with something dangling in his hands. Handcuffs. They weren't the pink fuzzy ones that you see in movies, they had leather-cushioned cuffs. In his other hand, he had three silk ribbons, you wondered what those were for.

Walked over to the other side of his bed he dragged you across his gray and navy sheets so you were laying vertically, causing you to whimper at the sudden movements.

He pulled one of the red ribbons out of his hand and brought it up near your face to blindfold you. So that's what one of them is for. Before tying it around your eyes he looked at you.

"Is this okay?"

You nodded your head, not hesitantly just coyly.

The silk was cool on your skin as he tied a knot behind your head. Your senses immediately heightened. You heard every creak Spencer made, every breath you both took.

He waited for you to get used to the feeling of not seeing before grabbing your wrists and raising your arms above your head. You heard the chain of the cuffs jiggles and he brought them up to your hands, clinking the cuffs around your wrists he hooked the chain around a protruding part of his headstand. The handcuffs were restricting, obviously, but not very painful. The grip around your wrists was comfortable.

When Spencer was done with your hands you heard his footsteps moving to the foot of the bed. He gently grabbed your left ankle and you felt the familiar silk being wrapped around it. And that's what the other two are for. He pulled the two sides of the ribbon tight. It wasn't too tight but you definitely weren't going anywhere.

He took ahold of your other leg and dragged it to the other side of the bed, the cool air hitting you in between your legs causing you to sharply inhale. The sudden exposure of your pussy made you self-conscious, even a little embarrassed. A little bit of that went away when you heard Spencer groan at the sight of the darker skin in between your legs.

"You have a beautiful pussy Y/N," his voice low.

You were still a little embarrassed at the fact that you were completely naked and spread out in front of your fully clothed colleague, but his compliment made it a little better.

For a few moments, there was nothing. He didn't touch you, he didn't say anything to you. You were laying there in silence, your chest rising up and down anticipating Reid's next move. 

Before you got too used to the lack of stimulation you felt his fingertips graze the space between your boobs, it causing you to flinch. He slowly dragged it down your torso as your back arched slightly against his touch. 

He pulled his finger back up from under your naval and began circling your breast, teasing your nipple. You let out a gasp as he pushed his finger up against the middle of your hard nub, sending a sensation throughout your chest. He brought his other hand up to the side of your torso, his hands now cupping your upper back. His thumbs slowly circled both of your nipples at the same time as your breath quickened.

He slid his hand up until they shot up to your throat wrapping around it. You felt him lower his head next to yours.

"You've been such a bad girl," his whisper sending a tingle down your spine, the feeling of him choking you only making it better.

He released his grasp and you heard the drawer open again as he grabbed more things. Suddenly you felt a flat object running down your body, not sure what toy it was.

"We told you not to go after the unsub on your own," he brushed the toy lower as you thought he was going to use it to pleasure you. "But you disobeyed orders and did it anyway!" he slapped the flat object onto your pussy causing you to yell out in pain.

"Fuck!" you exclaimed through clenched teeth. It hurt like a bitch but you felt a sense of excitement arising in you.

He scoffed. "Would you have said that when you got shot point-blank in your head? Huh?!" he abruptly pushed you onto your side, your wrists and ankles tugging at the restraints. You heard the toy whizz across the air producing a whistling sound before it slammed against your ass. The combined sound of the slap and your yells filled the room.

"AH!" you cried out as you felt a stinging sensation bubbling on the cheek in which he spanked.

The feeling of pain mixed with the pleasure of being punished was amazing. You felt the wetness pooling between your legs as you were enjoying this way more than you could've imagined. You needed him to fuck the living shit out of you. But he wasn't going to, and that was punishment enough.

He marched over the other side of you as your breathing came down. He pushed onto your other side and your face scrunched up in anticipation of another strike.

"Are you going to be a good girl and follow orders next time?"

"No," a hint of brattiness in your voice. "I don't think I wi-"

Whack!

You yelped as he cut off your disobedient sentence with another strike. He grabbed your face aggressively, "We'll see about that Princess," his lips brushed against yours.

Once again you heard him walk to the foot of the bed, you moved your face trying to follow the sound. Suddenly you felt his thumb ghosting over your clit, you bucked your hips in response longing for him to press up against you but he grabbed your waist and pushed you down, holding you there to make sure you understood not to do that.

He slowly applied more pressure to your slick bundle of nerves, barely moving. It took everything in you not to rub up against his thumb but you didn't, as much as you liked the spanks you were still stinging a bit, not eager for another one.

After resting his finger on you for some time he finally began making circular movements. The aching pleasure had you not knowing what to do with yourself, you could've come right then.

He continued to make painfully slow movements up and down your slit until he abruptly slid two fingers into you causing you to gasp loudly. You could only imagine the shit-eating grin that spread across his face.

Without any preparation, he started to roughly work his fingers inside of you, pressing up against your g-spot. Your core filled with pleasure every time he curled them inside of you. Your moans became continuous, occasionally mixing with sighs and gasps.

For a moment he slowed down, you felt his body shift as if he were reaching down to grab something off of the floor. You heard a click followed by a buzzing noise. Another vibrator? He pressed the toy up against your clit, resuming his fingering. This wasn't the same one he'd used on you a couple of months ago, it was larger this time.

Your processing of what he was using on you was quickly interrupted by the intense pleasure you were feeling. His long fingers pounded into you repeatedly and forcefully as his toy sent vibrations all throughout your sensitive core. Your legs began to shake and you began to writhe violently on his bed as you felt your gobsmacking orgasm making its way down. 

"Please!" you scream.

"Please what?"

"Please let me cum!"

"You want to cum, huh?"

"Y-yes!"

"Yeah?" you cried out as Spencer yanked away any contact that was made with your pussy just before your orgasm burst through. "Now why would I give a disobedient brat what she wants?" he spat maliciously. 

FUCK FUCK FUCK NO!

The feeling you were left with was almost painful. You were desperate for something, anything! Trying to pinch your knees together for some friction, you were met with the stubborn restraints pulling along your ankles as they were not budging.

Spencer's laugh was audible as he watched your distress. You started to give up and laid there, your breathing was heavy. Soon you heard the familiar sound of his zipper coming down. Yes! Was this all just a build-up to him fucking you.

You heard him groan as you heard the sound of him most likely jerking his dick. You'd kill to see that. Suddenly you felt him position yourself at your entrance, you'd hope the first time you guys have sex you'd be able to see but this would do.

"You're so fucking wet, I'm sure I would just slip right it," he dragged his tip up to your clit, teasing you.

"You want me to fuck you. You want me to pound you relentlessly to make up for the orgasm I just deprived you of. Right?"

Put it in, put it in, put it in. 

You could only moan and nod your head in response as he continued to tease your slick slit.

"Of course you do you little slut," he retreated and walked over to the side of his bed.

Fucking hell. That was another fucking trick.

"You know what would put the cherry on top for your punishment?" you felt him place his tip in between your soft plump lips. "If I came," he groaned, "and you didn't".

"Don't threaten me with a good time Doctor," you chuckled before taking his shaft into your mouth.

"Fuuuck," he breathed out as he pumped his dick deeper into your mouth.

You stuck your tongue out from under as he picked up his pace. You quickly began to gag as he hit the back of your throat, spit flying out of your mouth. Nothing aided you but your pursed lips and tongue that was wrapped around him.

You felt his dick twitch against the roof of your mouth. Shit. All of that punishment must've made him really damn horny.

He grabbed the top of your hair, pulling you further onto his cock. He held your head in place and he came undone into your throat, cum spurting down your throat and obscenities leaving his mouth. He plopped down beside you as both of your breathings came down.

Guess I should disobey orders more often.


	15. Chapter 15 - Sub-drop

After a few moments of allowing your bodies to rest, you felt Spencer pull himself off of the bed. He lifted the cuffs and unlocked them, your arms falling beside you. You sharply inhaled as the blood rushed back to your semi-numb wrists while you rubbed them. He moved to your ankles, silk easily untied with one pull of the ribbon, your legs instinctively bending up towards you. Last was your blindfold, he slowly slipped it off and you flinched at the brightness of the room. 

You looked around seeing a white object sitting on the floor. So that's what the vibrator was. It was one of those Hitachi Magic Wands.

When you sat up your arms shot across your body as you suddenly felt exposed. Spencer picked up on this and handed your underwear that he threw on the floor, to you. After putting your bra and panties on, you pulled his dark comforter up to your chest. 

He gently sat down next to you, "You okay?" he asked, a softness in his voice that was nonexistent a few minutes ago.

"Is it weird that I want to cry?"

He pulled your head to his chest as you fought back tears that confused you. Why did you feel so weirdly sad all of the sudden?

"I promise I really enjoyed that, I just- I don't know," your body flooded with negative emotions.

"I know, this is totally normal Y/N," he comforted you.

You lifted your head, a confused look on your face.

"The sadness you're feeling right now is what we call a 'sub-drop'. During that little scene we did, your body was flooded with endorphins and adrenaline. Now that it's over, you're deprived of those hormones and chemicals. Hence, this feeling."

"Oh," you looked down.

"There's also such thing as a 'dom-drop' which is when the dom feels the same thing. It's not as common though."

"Are you feeling that right now?"

"Again, most doms don't experience it. It's happened to me before, but luckily not right now or else we'd both be sitting here and crying all night," he laughed and you joined him.

"Hey," his voice almost a soft whisper, "I uh- I hope you know the things I was saying...the words I was calling you," his eyes were locked onto yours.

"You didn't mean it like that, I know," you assured him smiling, earning a warm smile back from him.

Wrapping an arm around your shoulder, he pulled you in and planted a kiss on your temple. 

You two sat there, your face nuzzled into the warm crook of his neck, his face pressed up against yours, for however long until you drifted off to sleep. There was one last thought that lingered in your head before you fully dozed off. 

You were falling for Spencer Reid. And you were falling hard.

...

The next morning you awoke in Spencer's empty bed, your eyes adjusted to the light as you looked around the room. You noticed his button-up laid across the edge of the bed, grabbing it you put it over your underwear.

As you exited his bedroom you once again caught him making breakfast for you, this time not singing along to the radio as he was incredibly embarrassed the last time you caught him in your kitchen.

You stood there and admired how hot he looked. White t-shirt, gray sweatpants, and tousled hair, slightly wet from sweat as his arms worked around the stove and counter. Walking over to him you wrapped your arms around him, your face resting on his lean back. 

He jumped a little from surprise, "Jesus Christ you scared me."

You giggled, "Sorry," you released your embrace.

When he fully turned around to look at you, he eyed you up and down and let out a flirtatious whistle. "I could get used to seeing that every morning," you blushed at his remark.

"You hungry?" he motioned at the pan.

"Sure am," you smirked, giving his butt a playful slap indicating you were hungry for a little something else.

He rolled his eyes, "Pancakes it is then."

You two ate and chatted for a little bit. "Sorry I ran out of coffee yesterday and forgot to buy some more. I hope orange juice is okay," Spencer said.

"Don't worry about it. I'm fortunate enough to say that I don't have a caffeine addiction, so I'll live," you chuckled. "If anything we can go to the cafe around the corner and grab some."

He smiled at you, "I have been craving one of their chocolate sprinkle donuts lately, those are my favorite. So that sounds great." Both of your phones dinged. It was Penelope.

From Penelope to "Crime Fighters" 

Sorry to interrupt your weekends my friends but evil does not take days off. You're heading to the City of Angels!

From Hotch to "Crime Fighters"

See you all at the office in 20. Oh and Garcia, please try to make the group chat name a bit more professional.

From Penelope to "Crime Fighters" 

I appreciate the concern, boss. But no <3

From Hotch to "Crime Fighters"

Very well.

You and Spencer looked up from your phones and at each other, laughing with your faces in your palms at the text exchange between your stoic boss and beloved quirky friend. Morgan and Garcia have the hands-down best relationship within the team, but Hotch and Garcia come in a close second. 

"There go our cafe plans," Reid placed his phone back on the counter.

"I can run to my place, change and meet you back here in like 5," you said beginning to unbutton his shirt that you were wearing.

He placed his hand on yours stopping you, "Or, you can keep that on and make it back in even less. It looks better on you anyway," his gaze over your body.

You smiled, "Fine. But if the team gets on my ass, this is on you pretty boy," you walked over to his room putting your pants on and stuffing your blouse from last night inside of your bag.

Sprinting home you threw on a light beige blazer that complimented your skin tone on top of Reid's white shirt, and darker brown checkered trousers and ran out the door. Spencer gave you a ride to the office.

When you arrived the first person you ran into was the one person you were hoping it wouldn't be. Morgan strutted over to you both with a bounce in his step that was always there.

"Well well well," a stupid grin on his face.

"Good morning to you too Morgan," Spencer said.

Derek's eyes scanned your body stopping at your torso as his eyebrows shot up.

"Oh, so you thought you were slick huh Y/L/N?"

Nice.

"Arriving at work together, wearing pretty boy's clothes. I have to say we sure as hell need to play some of that Truth or Dare more often," you and Spencer both rolled your eyes at Morgan's smugness as he slightly tucked his chin.

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I just like to shop in the men's section and I just ran into Spence downstairs?" you squinted your eyes.

"I'm sure that's true," he said sarcastically before treading away.

You and Reid looked at each other with wide eyes and furrowed brows. Well shit. I guess that whole keeping us from the team is out the door. If Morgan has suspicions it's about a matter of time before Penelope knows. And once Penelope knows the whole team knows.

As you entered the roundtable room you pulled your blazer across your body covering Spencer's shirt but from the looks on the teams' faces, Derek had already blabbed.

Watching Garcia as she clicked away at the remote, filling you all in on the case, you shifted in your chair as your ass began to ache. Fuck. This asshole was stronger than I thought. It didn't hurt this morning when you woke up, the longer you were sat in your chair the more it stung. If you were to look in a mirror you wouldn't be surprised if there was a bruise.

Spencer looked up from his file and at you through his lashes, your discomfort plastering a little smirk on his face. You rolled your eyes as you leaned over to the side a little, taking the pressure off of your butt cheeks and onto your thigh. 

You were gonna kill him if this affected your efficiency on the field!


	16. Chapter 16 - Seeing Red

"This unsub looks like he's on a spree. Wheels up in 30," Hotch nodded to the team as everyone rose from their seats. You stood up slowly, your face twisting as you lifted your sore ass from your chair.

Spencer pressed his lips together, trying to hold back a snicker, "You okay Y/N?"

"Yeah, I'm just dandy Spencer," you said sarcastically. 

Before anyone had the chance to leave the room Rossi turned to face everyone, "By the way, everyone, Krystal and I decided on New York City for the wedding." The room filled with oohs and aahs. 

Shit. You had totally forgotten that Rossi invited the team to his wedding which was next weekend. 

"Wow, the city? It's gonna be beautiful Dave I'm sure Kyrstal is going to love it," Emily gushed.

Everyone made their way to their desks or the breakroom to grab some last-minute things. You caught up with Reid who was walking down the platform.

"Hey, Spence!" you ran up next to him.

"What's up?"

"I kind of forgot to ask you this earlier but what do you think about going to Rossi's wedding together?" 

Spencer's eyes moved to the floor. "As friends of course!" you corrected yourself, "I don't know we could just show up hand in hand, it'll be cool."

He let out a small exhale and smiled, "Sure, that sounds fun."

"Cool," you replied.

"Oh, by the way, I'll try and find some ice when we get to the hotel," he shot a look at your butt before walking off.

"Piss off!" you shot back while he could still hear you. 

...

The case went by, as usual, only talking to each other strictly about work. You tried to be more careful this time around as spree-killers are known to be more dangerous. But the thought of you putting yourself in danger again, earning another 'punishment' from Spencer, took over your mind.

However, you've caught Spencer staring at you a couple of times from the corner of your eyes. He wasn't eyeing you up and down flirtatiously, it was almost as if he was studying you. He looked like a teenage boy at a school dance who was afraid to ask a girl he liked to dance.

He hasn't really interacted with you even on the plane ride home. This case was pretty tough so you thought that was the reason why he was being so distant.

The jet landed sometime late at night. Before walking into the office you had an idea to cheer Spencer up. You ran to a little bakery that was just down the street of Quantico, the comforting smell of fresh baked goods filled your nose as you entered the cute shop. You picked up a fluffy chocolate sprinkle donut, the kind you knew that Spence loved. He would always jump with glee when the office treated us to a box of donuts. No one fought him over the only chocolate sprinkle that was in there because they knew they would lose. Plus the sight of him munching away with not a care in the world was too adorable.

The sweet old lady behind the counter grabbed the best donut in the batch with a piece of parchment paper and placed it into a little bag. After you paid you practically skipped back to the office, so excitedly anticipating seeing Spencer's smile that was absent for the past few days.

When you returned to the office you saw Spencer standing with Morgan through the window of the roundtable room, his face still gloomy-looking. He didn't spot you which was good, so you tiptoed up the stairs with his surprise in hand.

Your hand had stopped in its tracks just before you were about to knock as you heard your name in the midst of their mumbled conversation. Eavesdropping was bad and you knew that, but you couldn't help yourself. You leaned against the door that was slightly cracked open.

"You serious? Not even a little?" came Derek's voice.

"Not even a little," Spencer replied.

"C'mon man, she's a beautiful girl inside and out. I don't see why you just won't let yourself like her. Even lover her."

"Stop it, Morgan!" Reid shouted back. "I do NOT love her nor do I like her."

W-what?

You heard Derek sigh, "Don't say that, you just want to convince yourself that you don't. I don't believe that you're just using her for sex, that's not you kid."

"Don't. Don't try to profile me. What's between Y/N and I is just sex, nothing else. I don't fucking want anything to do with her otherwise and I never will."

"Is this about Maeve...?" Derek's voice was quiet.

There was a pause. "I don't want to talk about this anymore," Reid snapped.

Your heart had caught in your throat at the conversation you just heard. You felt sick at the words that came out of Spencer's mouth about you. Your vision blurred with tears as you ran down the stairs, miraculously not falling as your legs were shaking. Feeling as though you were wearing a barbed wire garland around your throat, you choked back violent tears as you stomped past the lineup of desks. 

Crumbling the surprise you were so excited to give to Spencer in your hand, you slammed it down into the nearest trashcan. 

How dare he? How fucking dare he? You spent your entire life picking up the millions of pieces, desperately trying to put them back together, just to have them grind down to fine dust beneath Spencer's feet.

You were never official but that didn't make this hurt less. If there was one thing that would never fail to break you was betrayal. You never allowed yourself to be sad for too long, you saw feeling sorrow as weak and useless. So your sadness quickly turned to anger, raging anger. You were seeing red. The mere thought of Spencer Reid made you see red.

All of the moments you've had other than sex, the moments where you laughed together until you peed, the moments where you stared into each other eyes amid cuddling each other until you drifted to sleep. Did those mean nothing to him? 

You ran into the women's bathroom, luckily it was empty. Slamming the stall door shut, you wrapped your arms around your body, the only thing that could comfort you right now was you shielding yourself from the world. You sat there for minutes not knowing what to do with yourself, you had to relieve your body of this feeling because every time you felt this it led to you harming yourself.

Amid trying to calm yourself by focusing on your breathing you instinctively slammed the wall of the stall trying to stifle your screams. You hated this. You hated feeling so out of control especially of yourself.

Exiting the stall you walked over to the mirror, sighing at what you saw in front of you. You looked like a fucking mess. Were you really going to allow some stupid conversation that you weren't supposed to hear affect you like this? Unfortunately.

Every since you ran away from home you avoided anything and everything that would make you feel this way. You one-night stand'ed your college years away not allowing yourself to get close and attached to anyone. But not this time. You let yourself fall in love with Spencer, just to find out that he didn't want anything to do with you besides sex.

You stared at yourself in the mirror, darkness glossing over your eyes. You wiped the tears away and thought of the only person that was coming to your mind at the moment.

Storming out of the bathroom you grabbed your things from your desk not looking around you as you strode over the elevators. Just as the dinging sound went off you saw Spencer approaching.

"Oh Y/N, hold it please!"

Without hesitation, you hit the 'close doors' button, watching him as a confused look came over his face.

You arrived, staring at the huge building that was in front of you as rain dramatically poured on you. Your fucking luck. 

After taking the elevator to one of the higher floors, you desperately knocked at the crimson door before it hesitantly swung open.

"Y/N?"

"Emily..."


	17. Chapter 17 - Emily Prentiss

"Oh my god Y/N it's pouring outside, you're soaking. Come inside," her voice high-pitched in concern.

You walked in as your shoes slightly squished on the floor. Emily ran to her closet to grab a towel for you. As you removed your jacket you took the basil-colored towel from her hand, running it over your head and through your soaking hair.

You took a cab here so your clothes weren't as drenched as your hair. Prentiss motioned over to her couch, inviting you to sit next to her.

"What's wrong?" she asked in a soft voice.

You tried to fight back tears but your quivering lip gave you away.

"Oh, honey..." she pulled you into a hug and stroked your hair as your tears stuck to the shoulder of her soft pink blouse.

Apparently, Spencer had told Morgan about them so you could tell Emily. "Spencer and I have been seeing each other for the past few months..." you waited to see her reaction.

"I-I know."

"You do?"

"The whole team has their suspicions, but it didn't affect your guys' work in the field so no one really said anything." So all that sneaking around was for nothing?

"We never really put a label on it, we just knew...thought that we liked each other. Spencer was always so weird about taking things to the next level, I was wary of it too but it was like he would slap himself on the wrist for any emotional feeling he felt towards me." You looked down at the floor and sighed as you recalled what you overheard in the conference room. Emily's eyes followed yours.

"When we got back tonight, I ran to that bakery and bought his favorite donut. I wanted to surprise him because he seemed so distant the entire case, I assumed it was because of all the deaths. When I came back to the office I overheard him talking to Derek. He was yelling about how he never wants anything to do with me besides sex and how he never loved nor liked me in the time that we were seeing each other."

"Oh my god Y/N that's terrible. That's so not like him, I don't understand why he would he say that." She was in disbelief, almost as much as you were.

"We had so many moments together, other than when we...had sexual encounters," you remembered that you hadn't slept together yet. "I even told him about my-" your anger was rising again but you stopped yourself from finishing that 

Emily's voice became a soft whisper, "About your father?"

You tilted your head and narrowed your eyes, "How do you..."

She swallowed, "Remember when I was being appointed as the new BAU unit chief because Strauss was questioning Hotch's leadership? It got to the point where I had to look through everyone's files, just before Hotch proved himself to Strauss." You do remember that and you should've known.

"Y/N I swear I wouldn't have looked if it wasn't protocol. Aaron warned me that it was heavy."

You didn't know how to react, all you wanted was to move far away from home and start a life that wasn't defined by the shit you've gone through in your past. But here you are, three of your colleagues knowing everything you've tried to erase. You wouldn't be surprised if any more of the team knew, most likely Garcia. She wouldn't look through your file on purpose but when you're that good with computers you stumble across things that you shouldn't have.

"I-I'm just glad it was you and not some random who was taking the position of unit chief," you sighed.

Prentiss gave you a small smile, "I'm so sorry that happened to you Y/N but have you noticed me treating you any different?" You shook your head in response. "Exactly, because I don't see you any differently. What you went through does not define you, it's not all you are. You are so strong and badass Y/N Y/L/N."

You let out a weak smile. "If you could get through that you could get through this," she continued.

"Thanks, Em. For everything, for being here for me."

"Of course, I'm always here for you." She gently placed her warm hand on top of yours, "Spence would be an absolute idiot to lose someone as amazing as you."

Your gaze traveled from your hands to Emily's face as your eye contact deepened. Admiring her dark brown eyes you found yourself getting lost in them. Her raven hair framed her sculpted face. Everything about this woman was beautiful.

She lifted her hand, gently brushing a piece of your hair behind your ear. Her eyes traveled down your face, taking in everything about your expression until they locked onto your lips. You found yourself doing the same.

With her hand resting on your cheek, she cautiously leaned in. Her glances revealing that she was battling with herself, not wanting to proceed with something you didn't want. Except you did want it, you were hurting and needed to feel loved and comforted so you closed the gap in between your faces, pressing your lips onto hers.

The kiss started off slow and uncertain, unlike the one you shared at the bar. You pulled away for a moment to read her face, after a moment of looking at each other Prentiss held your head in her hands and pulled you into a more passionate kiss.

Emily was always open about how she's been with women before. Hell, she's even had a couple of past girlfriends, so knew what she was doing and you could tell.

She leaned you back onto her couch as your hands explored the curvatures of her body, stopping at the hem of her top. You pulled her shirt off of her revealing her bra underneath, her doing the same to you.

Her kisses made their way down to your neck, her leg hooked around your waist. You gasped as both of your cores occasionally touched as she was rocking into her traveling kisses.

Slowly slipping under your waistband, Emily's fingers tenderly moved up and down your clothed slit. You brought your hand up to do the same to her, earning a soft moan from her.

Before completely removing your clothes she looked at you, "Is this okay?" sincerity in her voice.

For a moment you thought, well that's a no-brainer. Until a flash of guilt washed over you. As much as you were angry at Spencer something about this didn't feel right nor fair. 

"Let's just kiss," you said with a slight stammer.

She gave you a genuine smile, "Okay." Removing her hand from your pussy she brought them to your face and planted her soft lips on yours, moving them sweetly and down to your neck every now and then

You two made out for however long, your hands caressing every inch of her body that they could. She didn't need to sexually please you in order to comfort you.

...

The next morning you woke up early remembering that you still had work. As you were looking for your own clothes, Emily's rosy blouse from last night caught your eye. You threw it over yourself, it still smelling of her classy perfume. You may have stopped anything from happening last night but you still wanted to sock it to Reid a little.

"The top looks cute on you," Emily placed her hand on your hip as she eyed you up and down causing you to blush.

Having some coffee with Prentiss, you chatted for a little bit until it was time for you to leave. 

"Hey, Emily," you said hesitantly. She turned to you as she was putting some things away in her cabinet.

"About last night..." you hoped she'd pick up what you meant and she did.

"Don't worry about that, nothing will be awkward between us I promise," she tilted her head sincerely. "We're still friends."

"Okay, thank you," you gave her a half-smile before exiting her apartment, shutting the door behind you.

On the quiet elevator ride, you thought to yourself, last night could've gone a lot differently if you had a different set of morals.


	18. Chapter 18 - Spell It Out

Your heart rate picked up when you entered the office, you didn't know how you'd react if Spencer were to try talking to you.

As you approached your desk you saw his head pop up from his book, he shot a smile at you. Not looking at him in the eye once, you plopped down into your chair and pulled out your paperwork.

You worked your way through the hour, seeing Reid glance at you every now and then. Eventually, he rolled over in his chair and greeted you. You briefly side-eyed him before bringing your attention back to your screen.

"What's wrong?" he asked. The fucking audacity.

He suspected that you were joking with him, "Am I gonna have to punish you again?" he said as he playfully nudged you.

"Get the fuck away from me Reid!"

Taken aback, his face fell, "I-I'm sorry Y/N I just thought..."

You shook your head and continued on with your work. "Did I say something wrong?" his brows furrowed in confusion. Is he fucking serious right now? He knew exactly what he said to Morgan that night and the fact that he's treating you like an idiot. If you didn't happen to stumble across their conversation he would've been playing you like a damn fiddle right about now, and that is what pissed you off the most.

You couldn't do anything but scoff as Spencer still couldn't seem to decipher why you were so angry with him. 

"Go back to your desk," you rolled your eyes in annoyance.

He flipped his palms so that they were facing upward before retreating back to his space. "Is that...Emily's shirt?" About damn time he noticed.

You could've easily said you just borrowed her shirt because girls borrow each other's clothes all the time. But were you gonna do that? Nah. A smirk played across your face, indicating to him that something went down between you two causing his face to fall.

"Y/N-" Before he could try and get your attention again, you put your headphones on that were indeed noise canceling.

Emily gave you a little look from her desk that was a few feet away, a don't-be-like-that look. But you couldn't be friendly towards him now, not for a long time so you simply ignored her. 

Later on, you walked to the breakroom to grab a coffee and Reid didn't dare follow you, but Prentiss did. 

"Y/N what he did was fucked up in so many ways but at least talk to him about it?"

"Why the hell would I need to talk to him about it? Why is he acting like he didn't say what he said?"

"I don't know, sometimes men can be really dumb and need you to spell things out for them," she began to realize that there is really no way to justify Spencer.

"Well, that's too bad for him. If he can't own up to his actions then he better get used to being in the dark about his problems because I am not going to explain to a grown-ass man that his words have consequences," you grabbed your coffee and stormed off as Prentiss sighed.

...

The week went by with Spencer pestering you with questions and demanding answers, your anger level rising every time he'd ask what he did wrong. You wanted to yell at him to leave you alone but didn't want to give him the time of day, it was no use.

You've been declining all of his calls and opening his texts but never responding. At work, he would try to follow you into the breakroom trying to play it off that he was just "bumping into you."

Spencer spent the past few days sitting alone in his apartment, pacing back and forth as to why the girl of his dreams hated him all of a sudden. She seemed to be enjoying the few months they've spent together. Their last sexual encounter was when Y/N was tied up, it crossed his mind that maybe that scared her away but afterward she assured him that she liked it.

So what the hell was it? This was the only girl who had piqued his interest ever since he lost Maeve, the only girl he felt something for since one of the most horrible heartbreaks he'd ever experienced. And he went and ruined it without even knowing how. 

Friday soon approached, as you drank most of your off days away today wouldn't be much different. A voice in the back of your mind was begging for you to get up, march over to Spencer's apartment and hear what his cute dumbass had to say.

But there was another voice in the back of your head. Her name was Pride, middle name Ego. And what she was telling you to do was to cut Spencer out of your personal life like a piece of chewed-up gum that got caught in your hair. A minor inconvenience but ultimately obsolete.

At some time in the late afternoon, your phone went off. Fucking hell, you thought. Can he take a damn hint or will I have to block his number? You picked up your phone getting ready to slide the notification out of your sight.

Reminder:

Rossi ties the knot tomorrow @ 6 pm!

Shit shit shit! Once again you totally forgot about your dear friend's wedding and the flight you had booked for tonight. Thankfully your flight was in a couple of hours so you had time to pack for a night in New York, but gosh did you feel stupid.

As you began to shove some clothes in a bag you remembered another thing that caused your face to scrunch up. You essentially asked Spencer to be your date to the wedding and now you were just going to have to leave without him. Tough shit. 

...

The flight to the Big Apple was roughly an hour. When you had cases in the city you always loved to stare out the window and lose yourself in the amazing sight, especially at night. Something about New York mesmerized you. You loved your life here in Virginia but if you didn't decide to go down the path of criminology, and had a normal childhood for that matter, you definitely would've moved there for college and started a life there.

As you tried to look out the window this time your mind immediately wandered to the memory of having Spencer seated next to you, spewing out facts about New York City as you took in everything he said along with the scenery like a sponge. So instead, you decided to do a bit of reading to pass the time.

When you landed you pulled up the directions to the hotel David had booked for the guests and called a cab.

You unpacked for a bit when you arrived at your hotel room, from the looks of it you were the first of the team to arrive so you needed to kill sometime before it was time to go to bed. You decided to go down to the party hall of the hotel and do some exploring, maybe even grab something to drink.

When you got downstairs you stared at the venue in awe, it was huge and absolutely beautiful. You thought the hotel rooms were nice but this was something else. Damn did this man have money.

"It's gorgeous isn't it," an unfamiliar voice came from behind, startling you.

"Jeez man, you scared the crap out of me."

The stranger chuckled, "Sorry about that."

You took in the appearance of the tall man that was standing in front of you. He had dirty blonde hair that swooped beside his head, framing his defined features. His eyes were a piercing green and right under he had freckles that came through due to his light tan. He wore a white button-up that was rolled up to his elbows, displaying his strong-looking arms. Holding his hand out to greet you, he shot you a sparkling smile. Jesus Christ, this man looks like a damn Ken doll.

"I'm Tristian, Tristian Richards," he introduced himself as you shook his hand.

"Tristian Richards as in Krystall Richards?"

"Yeah, actually I'm Krystall's nephew. My father, her brother, couldn't make it because of work."

"Oh cool, I'm team groom so I'm here for David," you let out a breathy laugh. "And yeah this place is pretty gorgeous, it's like a damn ballroom of a royal castle!"

"I agree. Even though Aunt Krissy doesn't really care about material things like this I can't say she won't be happy with it." He looked over at the hotel bar, "Can I buy you a drink?"

You hesitated for a moment but you agreed as he led you to the stools.

"I'm Y/N by the way," you said before giving your drink order.

"Well nice to meet you Y/N. How do you know David?" he asked.

"Oh we work together at the FBI, he only really invited our team along with his daughter."

"FBI? Wow, that's really impressive, not that I underestimated you in any way. I bet you can take down just about anyone with that beautiful smile," a flirtatious glint flashing across his eyes as he took a sip of his drink. Your cheeks turned bright red as you quickly turned bashful at his compliment, earning a chuckle from him.

You two chatted away for a bit, occasionally letting out laughter that echoed throughout the hall, this guy was definitely a charmer and a huge flirt, but it didn't necessarily bother you.

You saw the team slowly start to trickle in from their flights. You'd talk to them all tomorrow as they showed up pretty late and were probably eager to head to their room and sleep. 

From the corner of your eye, you saw an all too familiar figure enter. It was Reid. He stood there watching you guys with his bags in his hands as sadness clouded his features. Your face fell as you saw him sigh and continue on to his room. A pang of guilt washed over you, a guilt that you swore you wouldn't feel because Spencer had been playing you this whole time. Right?

"It's getting late Tristan, I should head to my room," your voice soft.

"No problem, have a good night Y/N."

"Thanks for the drink," you gave a little smile before taking off.


	19. Chapter 19 - Paradise Never Existed

You spent the time you had the next day hanging out a bit with the rest of the team as Krystall was frantically getting ready. You didn't see Tristan at all in the morning and afternoon, and you hadn't really seen Spencer much either.

As you all lounged in the common area holding vending machine snacks and drinks JJ looked around the room before looking at you. "Hey, has anyone seen Spencer? I spotted him sometime this morning but not once after that. Y/N do you know-"

"Nope," you popped the p, not looking up from your bag of chips.

"I thought he was your date for the wedding," she tilted her head.

"Not anymore he isn't," your voice sharp. Emily let out a sigh, her talk with you obviously didn't change anything.

JJ sensed in your voice that you didn't want to talk about it and so did the rest of the team, so no one bothered you about it after that. You stood up from the comfy multi-colored chair and walked towards the elevator, a silence falling upon your friends as they watched you leave.

"Did I miss something?" asked Jennifer. Emily did nothing but shake her head indicating not to ask about it, not yet at least.

You killed some time in your room, watching TV and drinking a bit until it came time to get ready. Before you hit the shower, you took out the dress you bought for the party and laid it out to get rid of some of the wrinkles.

When you hopped out of the shower you got started on your makeup, you rarely got the chance to dress up as fancy as you could so you decided to go more dramatic on the makeup than you usually did. You've always been really good at makeup which was surprising because you never wore it much, so when the time came to go all out you were never worried. So you took out your brushes and got to work, patting glitter onto your eyelids and contouring the shit out of your face.

Afterward, you started your hair. You plugged in your blush pink curling iron and created bouncy, voluminous waves throughout your hair, fluffing them out when you were finished.

Last came your dress. It was a deep emerald green color, sleek to hug your body showing off your womanly figure, and the thin straps crossed over each other behind to adorn your toned back. 

Your glitter cut crease matched the color of your dress and your nude lip added a classiness to the look. Your soft and bouncy hair elegantly framed your face as you added hanging diamond earrings to top it off. Once you put on your diamond strap heels you eyed yourself in the mirror. Damn you look hot. 

You exited your room only to run into Spencer whose room was conveniently placed next to yours and wow did he look sexy. Your girl Pride Ego was screaming because you were considering risking it all then and there.

Your eyes studied his body as he did the same to yours. He was wearing a striking all-black suit with a black button-down under it and a silky wine-colored tie that reminded you of the restraints back at his place. Rings were placed on a few of his fingers, accentuating his large and defined hands, a watch around his wrist complimenting his veins. Every part of his outfit was fitted perfectly, showing off his lean build, as if it were made for him even though you know he would never bother to get a custom-made suit.

His eyes traveled over every inch of your body, undressing you with his eyes as if he's never seen you naked before. 

"You look fucking beautiful Y/N," his eyes were sad but he managed to give you a genuine smile

Your heart fluttered at this first interaction you two had in a while, God you miss him. "Thanks. You look really handsome Spencer," your voice was quiet and hesitant.

Spencer's eyes flashed with relief and a bit of hope, he expected you to ignore him and storm off, but you spoke to him after days of acting like he didn't exist. "Thank you," he whispered.

Giving him a weak smile you made your way to the elevator, your face falling the second you turned around. All those days you were positive that you were over him, but the briefest of conversations made you realize how much you missed that fuckhead.

... 

The ceremony was beautiful. Krystall looked amazing and she makes Rossi so happy, and that makes you happy. Their love story is incredibly chaotic and that's how you know they were meant to be together.

Throughout their vows, you and Spencer kept sneaking glances at each other. "You are my best friend, and I vow never to let that change despite any hardships" stung the most.

It was finally time to get your party on, this was the damn moment you were waiting for. Socializing was never really your thing at parties but when it came to busting a move you were a pro. You, Penelope, and Derek on the dance floor together were almost too much for the team to handle. They went from dying of laughter while watching you three to eventually giving in and joining you, even Hotch broke it down a little and you all were impressed. Spencer watched from his seat which was nothing new for anyone, he chuckled every now and then as he watched how happy you all were.

Eventually, the music when from high energy to a soft ballad as everyone found a partner to slow dance with. You watched Hotch and Prentiss peacefully swaying to the music, occasionally getting lost in each other's eyes. Ever since his ex-wife Haley was murdered and his previous girlfriend Beth moved away, he hasn't really taken the time to focus on his love life. You understood why but you just wanted him to be happy and he seems to have a really nice connection with Emily, and you're sure she felt it too. Hopefully, one day they would find their way to each other.

Derek slipped in front of you and took you into his arms, moving you to the beat of the song. 

"Woah there Romeo," you giggled as he handed you the usual compliments on how sexy you looked, calling you a 'foxy lady' whatever that meant.

A bit into the dancing his face softened, "You and the kid having problems? Trouble in paradise?"

"Why would we have trouble in a paradise that never existed?"

"He likes you a lot you know," he gave you a swift spin.

"That's a lie Derek and you know it. I hear what he said to you last week after the case in LA."

"That's all bullshit Y/N, he's just an idiot, a scared idiot."

You sighed as he gave you one last sway before joining Emily for a dance. "You can make any choice you want pretty girl, just make one you won't regret."

Looking over to Spencer who has been eyeing you for a while, you noticed him beginning to rise off of his chair and walk over to you possibly asking you for a dance. Before he had the chance to get to you, you felt a strong hand grab yours and spin you around before pulling you into a dance. It was Tristan. 

"Hey," his voice was low as he smiled at you.

"Oh, hi."

"You look absolutely beautiful," his hand brushed along your waist, moving down to your hip as his other hand had a strong grip on your hand.

"T-thank you," you were trying to find Spencer through the crowd.

"Are you okay? You seem distracted," he moved his head to catch your gaze.

"What? Oh, yeah sorry I'm just feeling a bit off is all," you gave him a fake assuring smile as he gave you one back.

You managed to sneak another look into the crowd and you recognized Reid's figure pushing through as he exited the party hall. Fuck. You sighed at the sight of him being upset, a man that you loved, a man that you never stopped loving because you couldn't. 

After absentmindedly dancing for a bit with Tristan you excused yourself, smiling at your team before taking off. This was David and Krystall's day and you didn't want to make it about your and Spencer's problems.

Tristan seemed like a great guy, he was a gentleman and he was handsome, very handsome. But he wasn't Spencer.

Unlocking your door with your keycard, you kicked off your heels and plopped onto your bed. You sat there staring off at a random spot in your room thinking to yourself. Why the hell do movies and songs make being in love seem so magical? So far it's brought you nothing but frustration and a slight alcohol problem.

You sulked for a bit, even swiping through a couple of pictures of you and Spencer until you heard a knock at your door.


	20. Chapter 20 - Nepenthe

You turned the knob of your door, "Derek I told you I'm fine-," you stopped your sentence when you saw who it was. Spencer's tall figure towered over you as he stood at the door frame, his eyes had a pleading look in them begging you not to slam it in his face.

"Oh, Spence..."

"Can I come in?" he said as he inched forward already making his way in.

Don't have much of a choice now do we. He shut the door behind him, it automatically locking as you took a few steps back. You stood there scowling at him as he watched you, not knowing what your next moves were going to be, the tension suffocating both of you.

"Y/N why are you being like this? If it was something I did please just talk to me," he broke the silence.

"The fact that you don't know is the problem."

He brought his hands out in front of him, flipping his palms over, "Well if you don't communicate with me I'm obviously going to be confused. Was it that night at my place, you seemed to enjoy it but if you had any regrets or second thoughts you could tell me and we'll never do that again."

"Reid it's not about the damn handcuffs! You know for an eidetic memory and an IQ of 187 you sure are a damn idiot." he sighed at your remark like he was out of ideas.

"That night when we got back from that case in LA, do you remember a possibly significant conversation you had with Morgan in the roundtable room?" you spat, crossing your arms.

He paused for a moment before cursing himself under his breath, "Fuck, you heard that..." his jaw twitched as he tried to figure out what to say next.

"Yeah, I did!" your voice got higher out of frustration.

"Why were you eavesdropping on our conversation in the first place?"

You scoffed, "Would it better if I hadn't?! Oh wait, it would for you because you could continue playing me and I'd be oblivious to it." You recounted what went down that day, "If you must know I ran to the bakery because you seemed to be having a bad day and I wanted to surprise you with your favorite chocolate sprinkle donut. I overheard you as I was going to give it to you."

Guilt washed over his face, "Y/N I can explain-"

"No, no you can't!" you snapped. "There's no excuse for how you talked about me back there. Do you know what pisses me off the most Spencer? The fact that all this time you remembered exactly what you said, and you still played dumb as to why I didn't want anything to do with you this past week."

"Y/N-"

"The fact that you've assured me multiple times that you weren't using me for sex. We were friends before all of this Spencer, was that nothing to you too?"

"If you just-"

Your throat stung from choking back tears mixed with screaming. "I OPENED UP TO YOU ABOUT MY STEPFATHER SITUATION HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?!"

"I'M FUCKING IN LOVE WITH YOU Y/N!" he shouted, his confession sharply sending the room into a pit of silence.

"W-what?" you barely whispered.

His red face began to soften, "I tried so hard not to fall for you, but I did."

"But what you said at the office-"

"I said all of that bullshit to try and convince myself that I wasn't in love with you. Morgan was catching on and if other people knew, it made it real and I didn't want it to be. I didn't mean a single word of what I said Y/N, I used the harshest words possible to convince Morgan that I didn't feel this way for you but he clearly didn't buy it," his face searched yours, hoping that you believed him.

"Why? Why don't you want to be in love with me?"

"Because every time I've ever been in love it turned into a shit show. My first girlfriend was murdered right in front of my eyes. And the last woman I fell in love with was a psychopath hitwoman who got executed. I just- I can't get hurt again, it would push me over the edge."

Cat Adams. You remembered her.

"I accepted it when you began ignoring me, it made me realize how much I couldn't live without you. Y/N I would never use you, and I'm so sorry my words made you feel that way," he inched towards you hesitantly.

Both of your eyes began to shimmer with tears. "Spence you have nothing to be afraid of, I will always be here. You could've talked to me about this."

"I'm sorry," his voice broke.

You brought your hands up to his face, now wet with tears, and brushed your thumb across his cheek. "I love you too Spence, so much, you have no idea."

"God, I missed you so fucking much," his pupils dilated. "What about blondie?"

You giggled, "Tristan? He's great but he's not you. I want Spencer Reid, and no one else."

"Good because I wanted to kill him," he let out a breathy laugh.

Gently pulling him in, your breath fanned across each other faces as you both enjoyed the intimate feeling of being in each others' presence. Any of you could've shut the gap in between you but you needed to feel that you had each other, that you weren't going anywhere.

You stood there, eyes blazing with desire and passion.

Once your lips connected it was as if everything was right. You were blinded of your surroundings. Everything had morphed into a mosaic except the wonder that was standing in front of you. The world had subsided to give you this one moment, it knew you needed this.

The kiss slowly grew, but not with the same hunger as your other ones. His fingers ran down your spine, pulling you into him until there was no space left until your heartbeats recognized each other and synchronized. You didn't dare let each other go.

You and Spencer Reid were made for each other. You were each others' Nepenthe.


	21. Chapter 21 - Intertwined Tonight

*SMUT WARNING*

Spencer's hand snaked along your hip to your back, finding the zipper that sat low on your dress. He slid the zipper down and brought his hand to the thin straps that sat loosely on your shoulders, brushing them to the side as they gracefully fell down your arms.

The structured cups that covered your breasts stayed in place, not revealing you as he walked you back until the back of your knees hit the bed. He leaned you back gently onto the crisp sheets, not daring to break the kiss. His kisses traveled along your jaw causing your heart rate to pick up, the lack of his touch for days electrified every nerve in your body, you felt like you'd short circuit any minute.

You gasped as his face buried into your neck, feeling his eyelashes flutter against your skin as he branded your body with his lips. Without disconnecting his lips from your body, he slid your dress all the way off of you, you shuddered at its friction against your now hard nipples.

He latched his mouth around your boobs, warmth radiating throughout your chest as his tongue flicked your nipple. His other hand stopped playing with your hard nub and trailed down. He began stroking your clothed pussy with a light pressure causing your breath to hitch. Pushing your panties aside, he revealed your bare skin. He began circling your clit softly with this thumb, you let out a tender moan at the feeling. As his thumb moved side to side he slipped his middle two fingers in as you let out a louder moan. He works his finger on the nerves outside and inside of you almost sending you over the edge, which he senses by the bucking of your hips so he pulled his hand away from you.

You whimpered as your orgasm went away until Spencer's kisses trailed down your body. He pulled your lace panties away so he was eye level between your legs. Grabbing onto your thighs, he licked a stripe along your pussy and took you into his mouth. You tried to stifle your moans as he suckled on your clit.

"Oh my god..." you hissed through your teeth.

He shot his tongue into your opening and thrust it against your g-spot before moving back to your clit. As he worked his fingers inside of you, pressing against the rougher mound of skin you were in ecstasy. You felt your orgasm rising as Spencer had no intention to stop until you were shaking.

"Beg for it," he said with his mouth full.

"Please. Please Spencer let me fucking cum!"

You gripped onto the sheet as your orgasm burst through. Your pussy contracted erratically, Spencer's tongue not pausing for a moment as his fingers kept working inside of you. You cried out as you tried to push his head away but his grip on your thigh was too firm. The overstimulation caused your eyes to well up with tears. Fuck it hurt so good. When he realized that you'd had enough he disconnected his mouth and fingers from you, letting out a low chuckle at how out of breath you were.

Seeing that you were in no state to move a muscle, he began to unbutton his own shirt, revealing a thin gold necklace he had on underneath.

When you regained yourself you were even needier than before. Your hand fumbled for his belt as he lustfully watched you undo his pants.

His erection sprung free as he shook his pants and briefs off, letting them fall to the floor. Crawling back on top of you, he stared deeply into your eyes, his eyes pitch black with lust but a loving look in them. His chain dangled over you and you took it in between your teeth giving it a playful nibble.

"Do we need anything?" he asked.

You shook your head, "Pill."

Snaking your hands around his neck, you pulled him close to you. "I need you right now," you whispered into his ear.

Without hesitation you brought your hands down and stroked his length before positioning it at your slick entrance, hooking your legs around his waist. As he pushed himself into you, you both groaned at the feeling of connecting with each other. Your eyes rolled back before fluttering shut as he slowly filled you, your walls molding around him.

Within seconds you took all of him in, Spencer groaning as the base of his dick hit your body. You pulled him into a deep kiss and he slowly rocked in and out of you, electricity buzzing throughout your body hitting your toes.

Nothing felt more right than this moment, you and Spencer were built for each other and you didn't even know it, like puzzle pieces manufactured in different factories.

As your hands fell beside your head Spencer's fingertips brushed up your scarred wrist and grasped your hand. He planted soft kisses along the scars left by your past, not pitying them but embracing them.

"You're so fucking beautiful Y/N."

"And you're amazing Spencer."

His eyes were lost in yours as he began to thrust faster, not lustfully but with tender passion. Your bodies continued to intertwine as you moaned and whispered I love you's to each other.

He moved his hand down to your clit, thumbing it nearly sending you over the edge.

"F-fuck Spencer I'm gonna cum."

"You wanna cum together?" he whined as you nodded.

He thrust more eagerly as his motions on your clit picked up speed, your foreheads touching.

Both yelling obscenities, your pussy clenched around his shaft as his cock throbbed inside of you. He collapsed on top of you as you kissed his shoulder that was slick with sweat. His liquids mixed with yours creating a small mess as you two came down from your orgasms.

He lifted himself to look up at you once more, his hair sticking to his forehead and chain hovering over your face. You winced at the feeling of his warm cum dripping out of you.

"Oh shit sorry," he stood up and looked for something to wipe it with. Grabbing a small towel he wiped the area, patting you down. He handed your panties to you and you slipped them on as he did the same with his underwear.

He plopped down next to you on the bed and you wrapped yourself around him. He planted kisses on your forehead as you fiddled with his necklace, admiring the small book-shaped charm.

"I've never seen this before, how come you keep it tucked away?"

He exhaled quietly, "My mom gave this to me before her schizophrenic episodes got really bad. She loved literature and passed that passion onto me, so that's what the charm symbolizes," his voice was soft as if he was reminiscing.

"It's beautiful," you let it fall back onto his chest.

"You're beautiful," he tucked your hair behind your ear.

Giving him a kiss under his jaw, you nuzzled your face into his neck. Your ear was pressed up against his chest so you could hear his faint heartbeat resonating throughout his body.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

You tried to stay awake to savor this moment for as long as you could but sleep engulfed you and your eyelids fell shut.


	22. Chapter 22 - Miles High

*SMUT WARNING*

Your eyes fluttered open as the sunlight pierced through your eyelids. Spencer's head cradled yours, you two hadn't moved an inch from the position you fell asleep in. You tried to tiptoe out of bed trying not to wake him up so you could brush your teeth but his arm hooked around your waist and pulled you back in.

"Fake sleeping?" you giggled as you nestled back into him.

A small smile formed on his face before he opened his eyes to look at you. You smiled through a kiss before Spencer pulled you on top of him in one swift motion causing you to gasp. His hands rested on your waist as you sat topless on him. He began rocking you back and forth on his hips as you felt his erection forming under you.

"We have flights to book and catch you know?" you placed your hands on his chest, lifting yourself off of him.

"Come on, an hour or two in bed wouldn't hurt," he grumbled as you threw on his black shirt.

"You gotta take a break or else you'll have a sugar crash," you winked before popping into the bathroom.

You started your morning routine and as you were brushing your teeth you felt Spencer press his body up against you, wrapping his arms around your waist with no intention of letting you go. You giggled as you rinsed your mouth, continuing to wash your face with him stuck to you like a child clinging on to his mother's leg.

When you were done he buried his face in your neck, giving you warm kisses. You flipped your body to face him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders you tricked him into thinking you gave in. His hands moved down to your panties just before you took advantage of your height and slipped out of his arms. He groaned once more as you hopped onto your phone and booked two flights back to Virginia. He dragged his feet over to you and you looked up at him innocently, "Flight leaves at 7 pm!"

You threw on some pale blue leggings that hugged your bottom and an oversized white zip-up, you wanted to be comfortable for the fight. When you both exited your room you looked to either side of the hallway and saw Emily just exiting her room with her bags in hand. She eyed you as Spencer was distracted while standing in your doorway and shot you a smile seeing that you two had spent the night together.

After you gave her a smile back reassuring that everything was good between you she made her way downstairs to catch her earlier flight. You and Reid also went down to the lounging area to kill some time before your flight and catch up with the team.

When you both arrived at the same time the team was already seated, having some breakfast they got from the buffet.

Derek had the biggest shit-eating grin on his face, "Ooh someone decided to sleep in a little huh?"

You rolled your eyes as you grabbed a plate of food for yourself and sat down with everyone.

"Wait what? Did I miss something? You guys know I hate when I miss something, so did I miss something?" Penelope said frantically looking around at her friends.

"No, you didn't miss anything Garcia," Spencer chuckled as she squinted her eyes.

"Where's Hotch and Rossi?" you asked not seeing your elder coworkers.

"Hotch's flight took off some time at 6 or 7 am and Rossi isn't leaving tonight because he still has a few things to take care of," JJ responded. "Speaking of flights mine is in about an hour so I should probably get going."

You all waved at Jennifer as she dusted her hands off and went to her room. Once she was gone there was an awkward silence.

"So Y/N, you must either move around in your sleep and these hotel beds are just super creaky or something went down last night," Morgan's voice got higher and more inquisitive.

You nearly choked on your blueberry muffin at Morgan's little remark as Reid's eyes widened. Shit, you forgot that your room was smack in between Spencer's and Derek's, the little asshole must've tiptoed back to his room and heard everything.

"No fucking way!" a grin formed on Garcia's face.

Spencer shook his head as you looked down, "Shut up."

...

After a few hours of your two friends teasing you, 6 pm rolled around and it was time for you and Spencer to head to the airport and hop on your flight.

You sat in the window seat and stared out the glass as most of the other passengers started to doze off. Spencer was reading a book but wasn't as lost in it as he usually was, he looked up at everyone who was sitting in front of you two, facing forward.

Without saying anything he grabbed your wrist and yanked you up, pulling you into the small airplane bathroom that was inches behind you and shut the door.

You stared at him with an incredibly shocked look on your face, "What the hell??"

He pulled you closer to him, creating more space in the bathroom, "You're gonna pay for what you deprived me of this morning baby."

"Spencer this is crazy, there are people out there!" you said in a loud yet hushed tone.

"Then you better shut that pretty little mouth of yours and put it to use," he whispered in a low, chilling tone.

Your lips crashed onto his as he frantically unzipped your sweater. Your lips hungrily latched onto his neck, the smell of his cologne was intoxicating and only motivated you to pleasure him more. He breathed heavily as you worked your kisses at the base of his jaw, occasionally brushing against his ear causing him to shudder.

The room was airconditioned and cold but that wasn't the reason for your goosebumps. His hands ran all over your body, not missing an inch they grazed your pussy through your leggings.

Flipping you around, he bent you over the sink as he pulled down his tented pants. As he rolled down your leggings and underwear you looked up at the mirror in front of you, spotting the dark and lustful look in his eyes.

The thought of anyone being able to bust you guys got your adrenaline pumping, making you hornier and wetter than ever. Spencer placed one hand on your hip, using the other to slide himself into you with no effort.

"Fuuuck," he whispered through gritted teeth as he pushed his cock into you. Once he was all the way in, his fingers dug into your hips as he thrust you back into him. The sight of him closing his eyes and rolling his head back in the mirror was glorious. You did that to him.

You gripped onto the sides of the ceramic sink as he picked up his speed. The sounds of you moaning and his body slapping against your ass could've definitely gotten you caught but it was near impossible to stifle what you were feeling.

Spencer's hand shot up to your throat, pressing up against the sides to cut off your blood flow.

"Shut the fuck up," he hissed in a guttural tone. But the combination of him pounding you and choking you only deepened your moans.

Seeing that his attempt to quiet you by choking you didn't help, he shoved his fingers into your mouth and brought you up next to his face. He fucked you even harder and more rapidly, your pleading moans muffled by his fingers down your throat. Your eyes began to water and spit dribbled out of your mouth as you gagged every now and then.

Spencer stared deep into your eyes through your reflection, his eyes pitch black. "Look at yourself Princess, look at how pretty you look while I fuck you," his voice breathy and teasing.

His other finger traveled down to your aching clit, circling it. You felt each other getting close as both of your movements were getting shaky. Lightly biting down on his fingers, your orgasms came out in whimpers as your hips twitched. Soon after, Spencer's dick began throbbing inside of you as he grunted with every thrust, his fingers pressing down on your tongue.

Giving you one last kiss on your neck, he ripped some toilet paper and cleaned himself off as you did the same. You both smoothed down your clothes and fixed your hair before cracking the door open to make sure no one was watching. Swiftly, you pulled yourself out of the restroom and took your seat again, Spencer doing the same right after you.

You went back to looking outside the window in an effort to not look suspicious. Spencer gave you a tender kiss on your forehead right before burying his nose back into his book causing you to smile coyly.

"Personally, I predicted we'd join the Mile High Club in the jet," he said discreetly, a smugness in his voice.


	23. Chapter 23 - Glimpse of Peace

When you landed in Virginia you two went to your place to settle down a bit. You were still a bit shocked at what you had done in that airplane bathroom, it was hot but very out of your comfort zone. Usually, when it came to kinky sex, public places were off-limits but it felt so right at that moment.

"That was crazy Spence, we are never doing that again!"

"Oh come on, the thought of someone catching us made it even hotter you can't lie," he protested.

"It won't be so hot when Hotch has to bail us out of jail for indecent exposure," you squinted your eyes.

Spencer shrugged his shoulders and you crossed your arms leaning back on your counter, "Are you an exhibitionist or something?"

He raised his eyebrows in shock at your knowledge of that terminology, "I wouldn't label myself like that, I guess I just like a little thrill."

You didn't know much about kinks despite some of the articles you've looked into so you decided not to ask Reid about them because the last time you did you blurted out the idea of pegging him.

"Oh i-is exhibitionism bad?"

"No, not necessarily," he said matter-of-factly. "As long as you set consensual boundaries it's fine, as opposed to some people who just like flashing their dicks to people who don't want to see it."

"Oh, I just- I don't know much about that kind of stuff," your voice trailed off.

"About kinks?"

"Yeah. My only sexual encounters were with college frat boys and I think you can imagine how vanilla those were."

He chuckled, "Sounds horrible. Vanilla is okay every now and then, but having it be the only thing you've experienced? Where's the fun in that?" You nodded your head agreeing in response.

"Good thing I'm here to give you a bit a flavor," he grabbed your chin and angled your face up to look at him. "You have to have some type of kink or fetish."

You got lost in thought for a moment, "I'm not sure..."

"That's okay," his tone was warm. You nodded and smiled as he planted a kiss on your lips. As you got lost in thought for a moment you remembered what Spencer said to you on the car ride back from your 'date'. "A couple of months ago you told me that you were a switch remember?" he nodded his head.

"Well, we never got to really switch," your finger ran down his chest.

He tilted his head, catching on to what you were saying, "So, you want to take control now huh?" you nodded your head in response, grabbing his arm, and dragging him into your room.

He bent down and kissed you desperately. Before his hands could get to your hips, you pushed him backward as he fell onto your bed. His face had a hint of shock but you could tell that he definitely liked it.

After he adjusted himself on your sheets, you crawled on top of him and straddled him. He watched you in awe as if something entirely new took over you. Usually, you wouldn't feel confident enough to take charge like this but Spencer brought this side out of you, he made you feel sexy.

You bent down to kiss him as he laid flat on his back, his hands traveling up your thighs. Before his touch could make it too far, you forcefully grabbed his wrists and peeled them off of you, crossing his hands and pinning them above his head. His breathing hitched as you did that without breaking the kiss.

One hand held his arms in place as the other snaked up to his throat. "Fuck," his groan got cut off by your choke tightening. You rocked your hips against his groin as you hungrily made out with him.

"I didn't expect thi-" his words cut off by a light yet firm slap to the face.

"Did I say you could talk?" you spat.

His eyes darkened at your strike, "Do it again." You chuckled mockingly before giving him another slap. 

"Again. Harder," he begged. You tilted your head and slapped him once more a bit hesitantly this time. Your grip on his hands became undone put he kept his arms in place, above his head.

"Harder," his voice grew more urgent but not with lust this time.

"Spencer your cheek is turning really red," you began to grow worried, the point was to hurt him but in a pleasurable way, this was getting out of hand.

Immediately, Spencer's face changed. The lust has fallen from his eyes and he gulped as he sat up. "Sorry Y/N I just-"

"Oh my God Spencer..." you guided him so that he was sitting upright. You felt horrible at the thought that you had hurt him, caused him this much physical pain.

He rubbed his forehead, "It's not you..."

"W-what do you mean? I just slapped the hell out of you."

"I'm just- I'm angry and I'm scared Y/N," his voice was weak. You shifted on the bed next to him, you weren't following.

"I treated you like shit for this past year and it was all because of my own issues. I've led you on and pushed you away more times than I'm proud of. That's why I felt like I needed to be hit, to be punished."

"That's not entirely true. You told me you loved me back in New York," you suggested.

"Yes, but ask me what we are."

Hesitating for a moment you asked, "What are we, Spencer?" All he could do in response was shake his head, looking at you with sorry eyes.

"Well, we don't have to put a label on it. You know that you want to be with me, that's enough right?"

"No, it's not Y/N, you deserve more. You deserve someone who is sure of their life, someone who isn't scared to death of being in love," his voice got quiet. "Someone who isn't as fucked up as I am."

"That's the thing, Spencer, I don't want anyone else. I don't want 'someone' I want you." He stared deeply into your eyes, searching for your own inhibition but you had none, you were dead set on keeping this man and he saw that. 

Spencer Reid spent his whole life searching the world for a glimpse of peace. It wasn't until now that he realized his world was standing in front of him.

"Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?"

You raised your eyebrows, "A-are you sure?" He nodded his head.

A grin formed across your face as you jumped into his arms, "Yes." His arms wrapped tightly around you, he wasn't going to let his past drive himself away from you, not now and not ever.


	24. Chapter 24 - Loser Buys Drinks

KINDA SMUT WARNING*

The day you returned back from the office it was as if the team knew what went down between you and Spencer.

"Well well well, if it isn't the two lovebirds of the office," Morgan obnoxiously grinned and you rolled your eyes. "So is it official or are you guys still in denial?"

"Yes, it's official," Spencer mumbled with a blush. Penelope squealed and excitedly clapped as did everyone else.

"That means I win," Emily said as she approached the group. Huh?

"Hey, that makes two of us pretty lady!" Morgan interjected.

JJ looked defeated as she threw her hands up, "Aw man I really thought it would take another month or two."

"I was never a part of this!" Penelope insisted as you and Reid looked around at everyone with furrowed brows.

"So does anyone wanna share what the hell is going on?" you said blankly.

"We all kind of made a bet on how long it would take for you guys to confess your love to each other and make it official...Drinks on the loser," the corners of Prentiss's bottom lip fell, baring her bottom teeth in a 'yikes' manner.

Spencer jutted his head back in confusion as did you. "Derek and I predicted it would happen within this week and JJ opposed that."

"Sorry, guys," Jennifer added.

You and Reid looked at each other in disbelief. These little assholes. "Well if you won a bet off of us might as well pay for our drinks as well."

Everyone agreed to head to the bar after work to annoyingly celebrate the new relationship within the team.

...

You all entered the warm atmosphere of the bar and made your way to the corner booths meant for larger groups. Jennifer wasn't excited about the fact that she lost the bet but she didn't mind treating you all to some food along with drinks. 

The tables were positioned in a way where one end was shorter than the other, so you and Spencer were seated almost across from everyone.

The team ordered a bunch of platters: nachos, wings, fries, and more that was shared amongst you all. As everyone chitchatted through the drinks, Spencer's left hand rested on your thigh. You didn't think much of it as it comforted you, but it began to inch up causing tingles to shoot up through your stomach, the side of his hand was dangerously close to your core.

His pinky stuck out so that it rested against your clothed pussy, you looked up at him with a subtle what-the-hell-are-you-doing face, not wanting to draw attention. Not looking back at you, he continued on with his conversation.

You felt yourself getting wet through your panties even though his finger was sitting idly in that area. He pretended to shift in his seat to get comfortable to hide the fact that he was hiking your dress up a bit to gain more access. 

After stroking your wet spot through your underwear for a bit, he moved it aside revealing your bare pussy. You sharply inhaled at the feeling of the cold air hitting you as you looked around nervously at everyone at the bar who was paying no mind to you. You two were sat in a way where no one could see what was going on but you still felt embarrassed and exposed. 

Luckily, Hotchner and Rossi weren't at your outing because that would've taken this situation from playfully mischievous to straight-up uncomfortable. The older men were doing some planning and preparations for Jack's, Hotch's son's, soccer game as they were co-coaches for his team.

Before touching your clit he waited for a moment so the other would get caught up in their own conversation.

"Don't make a face and don't make a damn sound," he leaned down and whispered in a demanding tone.

His middle finger began lightly circling your clit, quickly getting coated by your wetness. It was nearly impossible to control the contortions of your face, you pressed your lips together in order to release some of the tension.

It was getting almost unbearable as he dragged his finger up and down your slit. You grabbed your drink and took a long sip in order to mask your sounds. Your moans reverberated throughout the inside of your glass.

Spencer laughed and chatted with the team like normal and you smiled along with them every now and then to not look suspicious. His motions were painfully slow, making your orgasm rise quicker than you thought.

You came right there. The initial jolt caused your knee to shoot up and bang against the table. The team turned to look at you, their conversation was interrupted by the sudden loud noise.

"You okay Y/N?" Emily said to you with her drink in hand.

"Y-yeah sorry, I guess I just moved too quickly," you plastered a fake smile.

Spencer looked down at you with a fake concerned face, no one else saw it but you sensed the stupid smile coming through. Everyone else hesitantly returned back to their conversation and you shot a glare at Spencer, his grin was clear now.

"Excuse me guys, I'm just gonna go get some air," your team nodded as you rose from your seat.

"I'll go with her," Spencer added, doing the same.

When you two made it far away enough from the table, Morgan looked around at his friends.

"They're definitely not just getting air, are they?"

"Not a chance," everyone agreed.


	25. Chapter 25 - Getting Some Air

*SMUT WARNING*

Before you could make it to the exit of the bar Spencer grabbed your arm and pulled you into the empty men's bathroom.

"Gross Spence! What the hell are we doing here?" you looked around praying that there was no one in the stalls.

Without answering your question he grabbed you by the throat and dragged you into a stall, throwing himself in there with you.

"Jeez. I'm guessing your kink is choking," you said teasingly but a bit surprised.

"It's one of em," he said absent-mindedly while locking the door behind him.

"I'm guessing bathrooms is another one," your chuckle was cut off by his sudden grasp on your face.

"I gave you one order back there and that was to not make a sound or raise any suspicion," his face less than a few inches away from your face as he squished your cheeks together. "But you couldn't even do that," he spat releasing his hold.

Without hesitation, he reached under you and lifted you up by your legs so that you were pressed up against the stall wall with your ankles hooked behind his waist. His strength surprised you once again as he held you up with one arm, using the other to undo his pants.

His erection sprung out, he immediately moved your still-wet panties aside and positioned himself at your soaking entrance. He usually eased into you but this time he just thrust into you full force causing you to yelp loudly, "SHIT!"

Your cry echoed throughout the empty restroom as Spencer maliciously chuckled. His hips continued to move back and forth, "I hope somebody walks in so you could be even more embarrassed."

The wall behind you made a noise every time your back hit against it. To Spencer's fucking wishes you both heard footsteps approaching the bathroom. You looked down at him with a perturbed face wondering if they should actually stop.

Not fazed he whispered to you as quiet as he could, "Let's see if you could redeem yourself."

Spencer stilled his movement as he heard the door creak open, he angled himself so that you wouldn't hit the wall with every thrust. His arms didn't give out once, they were firm and stationary under your ass.

You harshly pressed your lips together to stifle your moans as best you can. Back in the airplane was different because you two were the only people in the bathroom so letting out a little moan every now and then was okay but now you were terrified to even breathe differently.

The heavy footsteps moved into a stall a couple of doors down as Spencer minded how hard he was moving into you. You clenched every muscle in your body, painfully trying to remain silent as you watched Spencer's eyes lock onto your body in concentration. The stall filled with the sounds of your light panting.

As the person was washing their hands, Reid doubled his speed making you throw your hand over your mouth as high gasps escaped your mouth. When the door opened and shut indicating the person was gone you gave Spencer a smack on the shoulder as he chuckled. 

After a few more minutes, Spencer emptied himself inside of you in low grunts. You didn't finish and honestly, you didn't want to, you just wanted to get the hell out of there despite how fun this was.

He grabbed some toilet paper and cleaned you guys up. You brushed yourself off and quickly exited so no one would notice a woman coming out of the men's room. Reid followed behind you.

You gave the team an awkward smile before sliding into the booth, Morgan has a subtle smirk plastered on his face.

"So how was it?" Emily asked.

"Hm? Oh, the air! Yeah, it was uh...refreshing."

The girls all nodded sarcastically before Morgan interjected, "Okay cut the bullshit, we all know you two were fucking!"

They all burst into giggles and laughter as your eyes widened and Spencer rolled his head back. Fucking hell. "I-I have no idea what you're talking about, we were just-"

"I was in the men's room, pretty lady," Derek leaned back and crossed his arms, "And I know the sweet noises of love-making when I hear it."

"Shit," you muttered under your breath. That was fucking Morgan.

"Only been official for a day and they can't keep their hands off of each other!" Penelope beamed.

You and Spencer turned your heads away from each other, sipping your drinks in embarrassment as your coworkers teased away at you.

"I say we all get out of here and allow this dirty duo to finish what they started at home," Garcia clapped as JJ slapped her card down on the table.

"Don't wanna be keeping them apart from each other too long," Prentiss winked in your direction.

Everyone stood up with stupid grins on their faces and scurried away leaving you and Spencer closest to the table. As you walked out the door of the bar you noticed him trying to suppress an amused expression. You jabbed your elbow into his side causing him to jolt but only snicker harder.

"That wasn't funny," you rolled your eyes.

"It was a little funny," he replied in a small voice, the smile not yet faded.

The moment you hopped into the cab you dropped your hands into your face, an embarrassed smile creeping up on you. Spencer giggled through the kiss he planted on your temple as your cheeks tinged pink.


	26. Chapter 26 - Vibrate-her

"No Spencer. NO!"

"Come on, it'll be fun!"

You fiddled with the small pink object that Spencer handed to you with a twisted expression. "Spencer I am not wearing a fucking remote-controlled vibrator in our federal place of work!"

"No one will know!" your boyfriend of months whined.

"They will when I'm a blubbering, moaning mess! Plus I'm pretty sure that's an HR violation." You shot him an unapologetic look as he pouted in front of you.

"Fine, I guess I'll just take that back..." he hesitantly took the toy out of your hand, "It'll just sit in my nightstand...all lonely, longing to be used," he exaggerated his sad face.

Rolling your eyes, you snatched the hot pink object out of his hand, "I fucking hate you." His face excitedly perked up, like a kid who had received permission to eat ice cream before bedtime. As annoyed as you were with his persistence, you would admit that you were interested in how it would feel. You examined the double-sided toy curiously, there were two pods, a bigger one and a smaller one.

"The bigger side goes in-"

"I fucking know, you idiot," you snapped as he slightly flinched back and nervously smiled.

Reaching under your pencil skirt you pushed your panties aside, slipping the larger end inside of you and tucking the smaller bit into your underwear against your clit. It felt like you had a tampon in but a bit weirder with the extra contact.

You patted down your skirt and looked back up at Spencer as he reached into his pocket for his phone. "Remote?" you asked. "No, actually it's a fancy new Bluetooth technology!" he said like an excited middle-aged mom who just discovered that her phone takes pictures.

He opened an app called "Vibrate-her", you furrowed your eyebrows as the seductively designed logo lit up his screen. "Okay, I'm still not quite familiar with how this works," he squinted his eyes as they traveled across the screen.

"Maybe this," he swiped his finger up the screen, "Is anything happening-"

"HOLY SHIT!" you exclaimed as incredibly intense vibrations shooting through multiple areas of your pussy. "TURN IT OFF!" you gripped onto your kitchen counter as the stimulation was damn near painful.

Spencer fumbled with the controls until the toy stopped going. You scowled up at Spencer who nervously laughed, "Better here than at the office right?"

...

Every now and then Reid would set his phone to the lowest setting so you could get used to the sensation. When you got to the office he turned it up a notch as you greeted the security causing your face to twist up.

You two were alone in the elevator, giving him the freedom to go as crazy as he wanted. As the elevator ascended he used the app to provide you with strong waves of vibration. You clutched onto the metal bar behind you as your legs nearly gave out causing Spencer to chuckle.

He lowered the setting as you approached your desks allowing you to breathe. Throughout the day you remained at your desk as much as possible as Reid fiddled with the controls. You were able to stifle your gasps in your cup of coffee and covering them up with coughs but sooner than you expected, your mug became empty.

As you slowly stood up and Spencer immediately mirrored your actions causing you to roll your eyes. You took short, cautious steps as you made your way to the breakroom. Walking with the toy in was weird, you felt like it would slip out with one wrong move but it never did. You entered the room to find your team gathered around as usual.

"There you two are!" Jennifer moved her gaze from Emily to you.

You gave them a small smile and quickly walked over to the coffeemaker trying to get out of there as quickly as possible before Spencer was able to fuck with you. Your colleagues made small banter with you as your anticipation was killing you.

"How was your day so far hun?" Penelope grinned at you as she stirred her tea. You shot daggers at Spencer as you noticed him reaching into his pocket

"It was uh- It was good- SHIT!" you jolted forward, leaning on the countertop as your face crinkled up.

Everyone on the team furrowed their eyebrows as they tried to figure out what was wrong with you, everyone except Emily. "Oh no you don't," she marched towards Reid who hurriedly shoved his phone back in his pocket. She grabbed his wrist and reached into his pocket without hesitation.

Your friends watched in confusion as Prentiss pulled out the phone that he had no time to shut off. The app was still-opened as she held it up to show them what you two were up to with a shocked smirk on her face.

"Is that..." Morgan questioned.

"Oh my God, it is!" Garcia replied as Prentiss scurried back over to them.

Your glare towards Spencer screamed "I'm gonna fucking kill you" as he nervously gulped.


	27. Chapter 27 - A Second Reprehension

"Um, am I missing something here," JJ looked around for a clue.

"Y/N has a damn vibrator in her and Spencer is controlling it from his phone, look!" Prentiss turned the phone around to show her. Nothing could rid you of the embarrassment that you felt as you watched the eyes of your coworker dart across the screen and widen.

"My man!" Derek gave Reid a couple of pats on the back with a shit-eating grin as both of your cheeks burned scarlet.

The ladies were huddled around the phone, giggling away until you felt the toy suddenly start up again. You jumped in response as their heads shot up towards you.

Emily let out a chortle, "No fucking way!" She continued to slide her finger up and down the screen sending more vibrations in your pants and your body contracted. 

"Oh hand that here, now!" Morgan strutted over to the girls, giddy. The asshole turned up the intensity and gave you even longer waves of vibration. You flailed around the kitchen area as the stimulation was too much, the team bursting out in uncontrollable giggles.

Spencer rolled his eyes and walked over to Derek snatching the phone from him, "Alright, I don't know how I feel about you giving my girlfriend an orgasm, give it here," his cheeks still pink from embarrassment.

Morgan threw his hands up in defeat, "Hey you can't bring that into the office and not expect us to fuck around with you guys," he laughed, Reid shook his head but a hint of amusement played on his face. You stood there out of breath, it wasn't long before an annoyed smirk rolled across your mouth.

You slowly walked over to where everyone was standing and gave Emily a playful whack to her arm for starting this. Looking across the room you spotted someone. Fuck! The team followed your eyes and had the same reaction when they saw Aaron Hotchner standing on the far opposite side of the room chatting with someone.

You and Spencer looked at each other with wide eyes and ran out of the room as fast as possible to escape, which you failed at. Hotch followed you out and called out to both of you.

"My office you two," he said without looking at either of you.

You couldn't hide the terror on your face as you snapped your head around to look at Spencer. "This could just be a false alarm like time. Remember?" he tried to reassure you. "It fucking better be," you replied.

Strolling into your boss's office cautiously, you noticed him leaning against his desk like a parent who had just caught their kid doing something that they weren't supposed to.

"Really agents?" was all he could say. You rolled your head back and sighed in disappointment. Great, we're going to lose our damn jobs or, even worse, get charged with public indecency or some shit.

"I didn't reprimand you the first time this happened but I must say something now."

Huh? "Um, sir what do you mean by the first time?" your voice small.

"That day I called you in my office, I asked Garcia to pull up the security footage because of how suspicious you were reacting."

Spencer's face went pale as did yours. "Don't worry, I didn't watch anything that I didn't need to watch. I assumed that I scared you into never pulling something like that again, obviously, I was wrong." 

You were internally screaming at this point, wishing nothing more than to just disappear. Your boss knew that you sucked Spencer off in a janitor's closet and he knew that there was a fucking vibrator in your vagina as you speak.

Hotchner stood in front of you with his arms resting on the desk behind him as you two were as silent as mice. "Do you guys know who I was talking to in the breakroom?" he squinted his eyes. You shook your head hesitantly.

"That man works with the head of the Bureau," his tone was sharp. Your heart rate picked up as you were getting more and more fucked. "You're lucky that we were having informal small talk and he didn't pay mind to your rambunctious laughter."

"W-we're sorry sir, it won't happen again," Spencer apologized timidly.

"If it does at least try to be discreet about it," your boss rolled his eyes as he nodded in the direction of the door, signaling that you were free to go.

Just as you two timidly made your way to the exit Spencer stopped in his tracks, "Um, Hotch?" Aaron turned back to look at Spencer. "How exactly did you know what was going on?" his voice small but inquisitive.

"Prentiss held the phone up and I recognized the app," Hotch answered nonchalantly.

No way. No fucking way.

Your jaws dropped, you gulped and ran out of the room. Once the door shut behind you, you and Reid looked at each other with wide eyes before bursting out in giggles.

"Fucking Hotch?" you said with shock and amusement in your voice.

"Is...kinky?" Spencer finished your sentence.


	28. Chapter 28 - Etched in Stone

It's been three years since you and Spencer became a thing and two years since you officially started dating. These past few years have been the best of your life, Spencer was a perfect boyfriend and treated you right, not to mention the amazing sex. However, you've decided to lay off the kinky stuff at work because of the last time you got caught, but that only made the other stuff you did that much more intense.

You haven't moved in with each other but you practically lived at each other's places. You had each other's keys and were together all the time. 

He's learned to push aside his fear of losing you and live in the moment, though from time to time you'd catch him being a bit overprotective especially in the field. The team has been nothing but supportive of your relationship despite the occasional teasing. You guys could be married for 10 years and they would still find a way to poke fun at you two as you were the babies of the BAU.

Watching as the love of your life frantically waltzed around his kitchen cooking dinner for you as he loved to do, you couldn't help but smile warmly. The topic of marriage has been brought up here and there so you found yourself picturing the future a lot. When you looked at Spencer all you saw was your future, you were going to marry this man whether he likes it or not.

You had been feeling off the entire day but brushed it off as your boyfriend suggested that a homecooked meal would make you feel better and you agreed. Ever since the cooking class night that Rossi held at his house for the team, Reid would not stop boasting about how he nailed the recipe.

Snapping you out of your thought, Spencer placed the full, steaming plate in front of you with a proud grin on his face. He threw the towel back over his shoulder, "Here you go, you're favorite!"

You give him a thankful peck on his soft lips before grabbing a fork. As you twirled the pasta through the tongs you couldn't help but notice that your appetite had mysteriously disappeared. Trying to push the thought aside you took a bite as Spencer watched you. Suddenly, your lack of appetite turned into disgust.

Being a profiler, he immediately noticed the change in expression on your face. "What's wrong, Princess?" he asked with confusion and a hint of worry on his face.

"I-I don't know, I'm just not really hungry anymore. The smell is making me a bit nauseous," your stomach turned as an uneasy feeling washed over you. 

Your boyfriend watched with concern as you pushed the plate away from you. "But you love when I make Rossi's Alfredo Fettucine," he asked sadly.

"I do Spencer, I just- I don't know why I feel so sick..." you clutched your stomach as the twisted feeling began to rise. Slapping your hand over your mouth, you ran to the bathroom and vomited into the toilet.

Spencer came running after you and gently pulled your hair back, rubbing your back as you continued to empty your guts into the toilet. When you somewhat regained your composure you dizzily walked over to the sink and began brushing your teeth with the spare toothbrush he kept for you.

"Y/N are you..."

"I don't know," you said slightly out of breath.

You rummaged through his cabinet as you found a pregnancy test from the last scare you two had. Looking over at Spencer your expressions were the same, tense. You kicked him out of the room as you fiddled with the plastic in your hand. Rolling your eyes you said fuck it and peed on the absorbent tip.

Pacing around the bathroom once you were finished, your entire body was on edge in anticipation. With one glance at the test that was sitting on the counter, your heart dropped into your stomach making you feel like you were going to throw up once more.

You stared at the double pink lines, frozen in place. Your heart was no longer pounding, everything simply stood still, the silence of the bathroom was deafening. You have a fucking baby in you. The sound of Spencer's knocking caused you to jump, "Princess...you okay?" he asked in a soft voice.

Slowly turning the knob, you were met with his warm face. You handed the positive test to him and he hesitantly took it from you. His eyes scanned it about a hundred times, not believing his eyes. You grew concerned as his fallen face until the corners of his mouth lifted into a shocked smile.

"Oh my God," he pulled you into an eager hug, "Wait this is good right?"

"Do you think so?" you asked.

"I mean it's definitely a surprise but I'm not upset about it." Your concern washed away at Spencer's reaction and a relieved smile quickly played on your face.

"We're having a baby," he whispered cupping your face. "WE'RE HAVING A BABY!" he lifted you off the ground and spun you around as your giggles filled the room. Gently placing you down he ran into his bedroom, "That means now I can do this." 

You stood in his kitchen watching him inquisitively as he rummaged through his drawer. "I wasn't planning on doing this for some time but here goes nothing," he said running back in front of you. Planting a kiss on your forehead, he kneeled down revealing a small velvet black box in his hands. Your jaw dropped open as you placed your hand on top of it. Holy fucking shit.

"Princess, you are the absolute love of my life, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you and no one else. Y/N Y/L/N will you marry me?"

Tears momentarily blurred your vision as you looked into your boyfriend's pleading yet hopeful eyes. "Yes of course I'll marry you, you idiot!" you laughed as you stuck your left hand out. Spencer slowly slipped the absolutely stunning and sparkling ring onto your finger.

Before standing up straight he placed his hands on the sides of your waist and planted a long kiss on your tummy. "I love you so fucking much," he pulled you into a passionate kiss.

As you stood there in Spencer's embrace you couldn't help but think of how crazy your story was. You had no clue what was to come as you walked into the bar with your team that night. Who knew you would be bound with the love of your life through a drunken confession. You thanked whatever was in those shots that night because you wouldn't have your life any other way.

Whether it was etched in stone or doodled in pencil, Spencer Reid was the only one for you.


	29. Epilogue - Athena Sage Reid

"Athena, where'd you go? Please! You can't go over to Aunt JJ's house if you refuse to put on pants."

You watched with your hand on your hip as your husband of three years struggled to control your daughter. A stupid smile played across your face as you watched this grown man looking flustered as ever while holding a pair of tiny pink jeans.

"Athena Sage Reid!" you decided to take manners into your own hands, "If you don't come out right now you will not be able to play with your best friends Henry, Michael, Jack, and Hank! Not to mention, Aunt JJ bought loads of ice cream and I won't let her give any to you."

A little half-dressed, brunette girl tiptoed around the hallway and revealed herself. Her soft yet piercing hazel eyes were guilty as she looked up at her parents who were stood in front of her. Her name came from the Goddess of Wisdom and War, Spencer was the wisdom and well, you were the war.

You grabbed the pants from Spencer's hands as he wondered how the hell you were able to be so firm with your daughter without giving in. Kneeling down to her height you held the pants out in front of her as she waddled over to you in her diaper. She placed her tiny hand on your shoulder for support, shoving her legs into each hole.

When she was done you cupped her face, "Promise to stop giving your daddy a hard time?"

"Sorry mama, I promise," she declared.

"It's okay, baby. You look so beautiful," you said warmly placing a kiss on her forehead earning a sweet, forgiving smile from her. You lifted her up and rested her on your hip, "Alright, we're good to go, you're driving," you ordered to Spencer before heading out the door.

"Yeah, you're driving!" your daughter mimicked as you chuckled.

On the car ride to Jennifer's house, Athena had knocked out in her car seat allowing you and Spencer for a moment of peace. Your daughter may be a physical photocopy of her father but she had your feisty attitude.

"I still don't know how you're so good with her, It's kind of pathetic that I let my toddler step all over me," Spencer asked you with his eyes glued to the road in embarrassment. It was very like Spencer to feel like he's messing up with something even when it is his own child.

"Oh you're great with her baby, don't say that. You just...have trouble saying no sometimes."

He sighed and placed a hand on your thigh, "Thanks, it just gets hard Princess."

You glanced up at the rearview mirror to see Athena rubbing her eyes, slowly waking up from her nap, "Hey sleepyhead."

"Daddy I thought I was your Princess," she pouted in her little tired voice as you and Spence chuckled.

"No no sweetie, you're my QUEEN," he answered.

"Oh, yeah," she smiled contently before dozing off once again, you playfully scoffed at the both of them teaming up against you and looked out the window.

You and Spencer managed to get married before Athena was born, luckily you weren't showing too much during the wedding. It was everything you had dreamed of, to this day Spencer's vows to you resonated with you and filled your heart with warmth every time you remembered them.

Y/N, for years I wandered life hopeless, positive that giving up on finding love was the only choice I had left. I realize that I was foolish for thinking that when this entire time I had you in my life. I fell for you harder than I ever imagined when I accepted the fact that I love you more than a best friend and I was terrified of that. All the times I fell in love ended catastrophically but you taught me that I couldn't live in fear because that wasn't living. You allowed me to love again Y/N, and I forever will be grateful for that. My heart beats for you and you only, and I can't wait to share that love with our beautiful baby girl.

Ever since you had Athena nothing changed between you and Spencer. You still got the butterflies in his presence and he made it clear that it was the same way for him. There was no loss of spark, even when you two were stuck changing poopy diapers, you never felt close to falling out of love.

...

You three were the last to get to JJ's house so when the door opened you were bombarded with hugs. As always, Athena was kidnapped by the four little boys who loved her so much. You smiled from ear to ear as you watched them take each of her hands and lead her into the room where they were playing, complimenting the butterfly clips in her hair as they did so. Being the only girl, she had four older brothers who would protect her for the rest of their lives, she had them wrapped around her finger.

The girls dragged you into the living room where the team was having tea and chatting away. You greeted Will, Krystall, and Savannah as you entered the room. We loved having these team get-togethers at least once a month if possible. Even though you and Spencer continued working at the BAU together, one of you would work from home if the team had a long and far case. So it was nice to all have a day where the kids can have fun and you could all catch up.

In the midst of laughing away and reminiscing on old stories, you couldn't help but feel gratitude washing over you. You were worried that Athena would grow up lonely without any family, your parents weren't in your life, Spencer's father wasn't in his life and Diana's condition worsened with time cutting down on visits. But as you watched your team, you quickly realized that your family was here in Virginia, right before your eyes.


	30. Bonus: Femininity

Alternate ending: Emily and Y/N go all the way. (Chapter 17)

"Thanks, Em. For everything, for being here for me."

"Of course, I'm always here for you." She gently placed her warm hand on top of yours, "Spence would be an absolute idiot to lose someone as amazing as you."

Your gaze traveled from your hands to Emily's face as your eye contact deepened. Admiring her dark brown eyes you found yourself getting lost in them. Her raven hair framed her sculpted face. Everything about this woman was beautiful.

She lifted her hand, gently brushing a piece of your hair behind your ear. Her eyes traveled down your face, taking in everything about your expression until they locked onto your lips. You found yourself doing the same.

Your glances tangled with hers, both searching for a single sign from the other. The decision of what you two would do next could change everything. With her hand resting on your cheek, she cautiously leaned in. Her glances revealing that she was battling with herself, not wanting to proceed with something you didn't want. Except you did want it, you were hurting and needed to feel loved and comforted so you closed the gap in between your faces, pressing your lips onto hers.

The kiss started off slow and uncertain, unlike the one you shared at the bar. You pulled away for a moment to read her face, after a moment of looking at each other Prentiss held your head in her hands and pulled you into a more passionate kiss.

Emily was always open about how she's been with women before. Hell, she's even had a couple of past girlfriends, so she knew what she was doing and you could tell.

She leaned you back onto her couch as your hands explored the curvatures of her body, stopping at the hem of her top. You pulled her shirt off of her revealing her black lace bra underneath, her doing the same to you.

Her kisses made their way down to your neck, her leg hooked around your waist. You gasped as both of your cores occasionally touched as she was rocking into her traveling kisses.

Slowly slipping under your waistband, Emily's fingers tenderly moved up and down your clothed slit. You brought your hand up to do the same to her, earning a soft moan from her.

Before completely removing your clothes she looked at you, "Is this okay?" sincerity in her voice.

You weren't sure. Was this okay? She stared at you, her face indicating that any answer was okay. Spencer made it very clear that he didn't take you nor whatever was going on between you seriously, so being with Prentiss was simply you, an adult, making a decision for yourself. If you were going to have any regrets, they were to be dealt with in the morning. With an agreeing smirk, you nodded your head as Emily accepted your green light.

She rolled your pants off, effortlessly unhooking your bra doing the same for herself revealing her perfectly shaped breasts. She peppered kisses along your neck, her delicate eyelashes fluttering against your skin. Her soft lips traveled across your chest sending tingles down your torso. 

Before you knew it your panties were off and she had taken you into her mouth without hesitation causing you to gasp. Your eyes fluttered shut and your moans were stifled as she worked her lips against you, your fingers tangled in her sleek hair. Spencer's mouth was rough and needy, eager to make you cum in his mouth but Emily's feminine lips were sensual against your core, taking their time to pleasure you.

You looked down at your pussy in her mouth when you felt the couch shift. One of her hands had moved from around your thigh and slipped in between her legs. Her moans vibrated throughout your body as she pleasured herself, motivating herself to please you even more.

Soon enough her tender tongue had sparked your bubbling orgasm. You bucked your hips, thrusting into her mouth causing her smirk to come through. You came into her mouth and her moans synced with yours.

Detaching her mouth, she brought her lips back onto yours for a passionate kiss as you tasted yourself on her. Your smooth and beautiful bodies collided as you made out. You looked at her, asking what was next before she smiled and crawled upwards. Soon enough, Emily's naked body was hovering over your face, her feminine scent lingering. You'd never done this before but you wanted to do anything to please her. 

You made the next move by grabbing ahold of her thighs and pulling them down, connecting her core with your mouth. Her gasps and moans filled the room as you blindly moved your tongue around. 

Noticing that you weren't quite sure of what you were doing she took a fist full of your hair and rocked your head back and forth, guiding you. You kept your tongue out as she maneuvered herself, grinding her hips alternating between circles and vertical movements.

After a bit, her movements got shaky as she unraveled into your mouth. Not being able to hold herself up much longer she came down and sat on top of you, straddling your body.

The room filled with the sounds of both of your rapid breaths which quickly turned to giggles in response to what just happened between you two.


	31. Bonus: Switch

Alternate ending: Spencer's inner switch comes out and allows Y/N to take control. (Chapter 23)

"My only sexual encounters were with college frat boys and I think you can imagine how vanilla those were."

He chuckled, "Sounds horrible. Vanilla is okay every now and then, but having it be the only thing you've experienced? Where's the fun in that?" You nodded your head agreeing in response.

"Good thing I'm here to give you a bit a flavor," he grabbed your chin and angled your face up to look at him. "You have to have some type of kink or fetish."

You got lost in thought for a moment, "I'm not sure..."

"That's okay," his tone was warm. You nodded and smiled as he planted a kiss on your lips. As you got lost in thought for a moment you remembered what Spencer said to you on the car ride back from your 'date'. "A couple of months ago you told me that you were a switch remember?" he nodded his head.

"Well, we never got to really switch," your finger ran down his chest.

He tilted his head, catching on to what you were saying, "So, you want to take control now huh?" you nodded your head in response, grabbing his arm, and dragging him into your room.

He bent down and kissed you desperately. Before his hands could get to your hips, you pushed him backward as he fell onto your bed. His face had a hint of shock but you could tell that he definitely liked it.

After he adjusted himself on your sheets, you crawled on top of him and straddled him. He watched you in awe as if something entirely new took over you. Usually, you wouldn't feel confident enough to take charge like this but Spencer brought this side out of you, he made you feel sexy.

You bent down to kiss him as he laid flat on his back, his hands traveling up your thighs. Before his touch could make it too far, you forcefully grabbed his wrists and peeled them off of you, crossing his hands and pinning them above his head. His breathing hitched as you did that without breaking the kiss.

One hand held his arms in place as the other snaked up to his throat. "Fuck," his groan got cut off by your choke tightening. You rocked your hips against his groin as you hungrily made out with him.

"I didn't expect this-" his words cut off by a light yet firm slap to the face.

"Did I say you could speak?" you spat.

His eyes darkened at your strike, and you chuckled mockingly at his response. You swiftly removed his clothes along with yours leaving you both in nothing but your boxers and panties. His eyes scanned your topless body, taking in all of your curves until you roughly grabbed his face forcing him to look at you.

"You don't deserve to look at me," you said in a demanding voice as he was taken aback. "Understand?" he nervously nodded in response.

"Good," you threw his face back onto the bed and out of your hand. His breathing had picked up as his eyes were no longer full of playfulness. Instead, all that washed over his face was pure lust and submission.

You pinned his hands back above his head when you noticed they had begun to wander. Slowly rocking your hips you felt him rock hard under you, harder than he'd ever been before. With a chuckle, you pulled his boxers down, his dick slapped against his stomach once it was freed.

You pulled your panties aside revealing your pussy and took his cock into your hands. Placing in right at your entrance, Spencer closed his eyes in anticipation but opened them when you didn't put it in. 

"Have you been good enough for me to give you this," you asked, running his tip along your slick slit. He nodded eagerly, you laughed and put it in taking him all. He let out a sharp breath and you rode him, pleasuring yourself without slowing down for him.

You looked at your hands pinning his down, "Don't fucking move them," he obliged to your demand. His groans continued escaping his lips until they were cut off by the new position of you hands. Around his throat. A smirk played on your face at his priceless moan and furrowed eyebrows.

Continuing to ride him aggressively, you felt he was getting close. "Y/N, p-please can I cum?" the sound of his voice vibrating throughout his throat and onto your hands.

"You wanna cum is that what you want?" you lifted your hips off of him, his dick falling out of you as he let out a loud whimper. You brought your face close to his and whispered, "You don't cum unless I say you can," you said through gritted teeth as you grabbed ahold of his face, squishing his cheeks together forcing him to look at you. His eyes were pitch black as he nodded his head out of breath and flustered.

You slid back down on him, his hands twitching in their position begging to touch you but he didn't dare when he read the don't-think-about-it look on your face. Once again you could sense him getting close, this time you were going to allow him to finish. 

"Now, should I let you cum this time?" you asked not stopping.

"Yes. Please!" he yelped.

You chuckled as you changed your rhythm, slowing it and rolling your body up and down while your grip on his throat tightened. Soft yet high moans escaped Spencer's lips and his brows turned upwards as he came undone into you. These were nothing like the low groans he let out the other times. You couldn't help but smile at the fact that you were able to retrieve such sounds from a grown man who swore he was very dominant.

As his pants began to slow down you removed yourself from him and crawled over to his face, planting a kiss on his lips. His hands slowly came down from the crossed position they were in and wiped the sweat off of his forehead. 

You searched his delicate face that was no longer ridden with lust but with vulnerability.

"So, how was that?" you asked resting next to him.

"It was uh- I didn't know you could...do that," his weak voice broke through.

"I'm capable of a lot of things Spencer, you just have to look for them."


End file.
